Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The Many States of Undress of Dr. Betty

You know what we need more of in the comics?

Ass crack and underboob.

Look, I don't care so much about the scantily clad women when I read the comics. It's embarrassing to read if I'm around others, but I can ignore it. But is it too much to ask that I not have to look at Dr. Betty's erect nipple when I'm trying to read about zombiefied heads and such?

When I saved this picture to my computer, I named it "bettynipslip" and while her nipple is not showing, there's NO WAY it wouldn't be here. I didn't know AIM made such revealing suits for their employees.

Don't her boobs get in the way when she's trying to do delicate scientific procedures?

Betty's shorts are rapidly on their way to becoming a thong. In later panels they miraculously return to their normal length, once the awesomely named Bong Dazo is done lovingly outlining her ass in a shot probably specifically designed to look up her shorts.

I wasn't going to use all my Betty pictures in one post, but we may as well go all the way, as I've already felt I've gone all the way with Betty. After all, I've seen most of her body by now.

This improvised HYDRA outfit is confusing me, as I'm almost positive that they don't employ women, and so wouldn't have any female outfits on hand. So I can only conclude that Betty looked at the whole HYDRA outfit and decided to just eschew the pants for whatever reason. She's like the Lady Gaga of comics. This choice is especially puzzling when you consider that she's spent most of the comic so far shunning the advances of both Deadpool and Headpool, and then she decides to dress like a skank anyway.

The writing itself of Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth is pretty good, and Dr. Betty's skankitude is especially maddening as she's a pretty strong female character. She's a scientist, she works for a well-known terrorist organization, she's pretty snarky, and she was alone in the Savage Land with just like, mosquito netting for protection. But all that takes a backseat to BOOBIES. I only have four issues on hand, but there are A WHOLE LOT MORE Betty pictures where these came from. It's all Betty prancing around in the jungle with her shirt straining at her enormous boobs and Betty's shorts getting a lot shorter and Betty's nipples and Betty's fanservice-y HYDRA and then AIM outfits, and ARGH it just gets irritating. But I guess I can't say that Marvel doesn't do anything for its female readers:

Thanks Bong Dazo! How did you KNOW I wanted to look at Deadpool's scabby ass? Thank GOD his pouches (somehow, are those things made of titanium?) survived the explosion he was in!

Well, I know I need a mental cleansing after all that.

Oh Nick Fury, how do I love you? Let me count the ways.

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