Friday, February 5, 2010
Boobs Don't Work That Way
Let's take a look at Dr. Betty here, from Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth, issue 1. The more I look at this, the more freakish it is. THAT'S NOT NORMAL. First of all, she's a scientist. I doubt she would be wearing a belly shirt open to her belly button to reveal a nice lacy bra. In retrospect, I'm not even sure that's a bra. They look like doily pasties or something. Very convenient when you're in the Savage Land. But whatever. Comics are primarily written and drawn by males, for males, so as a female reading them, I have to give them some concessions. But even going beyond that, I can't stop staring at her boobs. Look at that. That's like a KK cup, easy. I don't think her arms can even rest comfortably at her sides. I imagine her waddling around with her arms held out from her sides. That is the most inconvenient pair of boobs I have ever seen in my life. How does she function with honkers of that magnitude? Recently, I watched a documentary on women with very large boobs, and there was a girl with KK boobs. Those suckers weighed NINE POUNDS together. With the amount of running and physical activity Dr. Betty does later in the comic, there's no way she wouldn't suffer some kind of trauma to her back. My chest is starting to hurt just looking at her.
Also, I'm not sure if that hand on the right is hers, or some Neanderthal from the Savage Land copping a feel.
Might as well get all the WTF boob pictures out of the way in one post. Just ignore the image on the left, although the more I look at it the more frightening it is. It's from the Dark Knight Returns. We're focusing on the picture of Bruno on the right, from All-Star Batman and Robin, because that's the comic I've read.
I don't know what to say. I can't remember exactly what my reaction to seeing this picture was, probably because I blacked out from confusion. I'm not sure if Bruno here is an original Batman character, or if she was a creation of Frank Miller (which wouldn't surprise me, honestly). I would love to know who said, "You know what? Joker needs a henchman." Someone was probably like, "Oh yeah, that's cool. Were you thinking like a big brawny dude with a cool uniform?" "NO! We need more female Aryans in the comics...and give her big boobs of course. AND PASTIES! NO! SWASTIKA PASTIES! OH MAN, I CAN SEE IT IN MY HEAD AND IT'S SO AWESOME!"