Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Hercules vs. Taskmaster (circa Gail Simone redesign, I assume)
Herc: Extremely strong. That’s basically it.
Tasky: Proficient with a ton of fighting styles, owing to his ability to learn any style just by watching.
Look, Herc is Herc. He’s a Greek demigod. Maybe Tasky has a bunch of different abilities, but Herc has the strength to withstand all of them. You may be thinking, “Won’t Tasky just mimic Herc and he won’t be able to get a shot in?” Well, you may also recall from his own series that Herc doesn’t fight fair (purple nurples and crotch shots, anyone?). He doesn’t HAVE a cohesive and distinct fighting style, so Tasky won’t be able to copy it to any great effect.
Nightcrawler vs. Depowered Jubilee
Nightcrawler: Can walk on walls, has a prehensile tail, and can teleport.
Depowered Jubilee: Tech skills, I guess? I don’t really know.
Powered Jubilee couldn’t even beat nonpowered Robin in DC vs. Marvel. She’s not the best competitor WITH her powers, and without them she has no chance.
Luke Cage vs. Gambit
Luke Cage: Skin like steel, very strong.
Gambit: Not totally clear. It involves kinetic energy and throwing cards.
Gambit’s the guy that all the ladies love but that doesn’t help him when he’s against MOTHERFUCKING LUKE CAGE. Luke smashes stuff. It is what he does. Gambit’s cards aren’t going to do anything to his impenetrable skin. And Luke has determination almost to the point of insanity. In Luke’s series, Doctor Doom hired him and then left without paying. So what does Luke do? He punches his way into the Baxter Building, bullies the FF into lending him their jet which he somehow knows how to fly, fights some robots, somehow gets into Doom’s castle, finds Doom’s one weakness (repeated stress to a solitary point in his armour) and gets the 200 bucks. Do you think Gambit can beat Doom? I DON’T THINK SO.
She-Hulk vs. Deadpool
She-Hulk: Super strong, can heal rapidly.
Deadpool: Can also heal rapidly, proficient with fire arms and different fighting styles.
When both competitors can heal quickly, the winner will be the one who can incapacitate the other the quickest. Deadpool’s good with weapons, but he’s not particularly strong (at least not in the context of the Marvel universe), while Shulkie has exponential strength as She-Hulk. When she had to fight Champion to stop him from terrorizing a planet, she worked out as Jen to become stronger, and then became intensely strong as She-Hulk. I can’t quite recall, but I’m 90% sure Reed had to make her a special suit so she didn’t keep accidentally like, breaking tables and shit. I have confidence that she can easily overpower Deadpool.
I don't know, I think Deadpool would win this one. I love Shulkie, but Deadpool has taken on enemies way more difficult than her.
Guy Gardner vs. Captain Marvel
Captain Marvel: Can harness the power of a bunch of different gods.
Guy Gardner: His ring can make anything he thinks of materialize.
Captain Marvel is as powerful as six gods, yes, but there are a few things to consider here: 1. Mentally, he’s a kid. He has power, but he doesn’t really know how to use it. Guy Gardner has more experience. 2. Captain Marvel is limited to the powers of these gods. Guy is only limited by his imagination. 3. Guy HATES losing. He will keep fighting until he’s dead, and Captain Marvel wouldn’t kill anyone. Ergo, Guy will win. Here’s a good example of Guy’s extreme determination: when he lost the GL ring he hired Lobo (and lied about his payment) to help him get Sinestro’s yellow ring, he planet hopped a bit (and keep in mind HE CAN SOMEHOW BREATHE IN SPACE) to get the ring, ended up accidentally unleashing a bunch of Qwardians on Oa and while everyone was preoccupied with fighting he made his way to the GL crypts where he fought Sinestro’s ghost (or something, it’s not clear) to get the yellow ring, got out of his promise to Lobo on a technicality, then went home. So to be clear, WITHOUT A RING, he went to a couple different planets until ending up on Oa where he fought Sinestro WHILE RINGLESS and then got the yellow ring (which, incidentally, is charged by fighting Green Lanterns).
Barda vs. Black Canary
Barda: Was a Fury, so she’s good at fighting. Fairly impervious to pain (didn’t notice getting shot in Birds of Prey).
Black Canary: One of the best martial artists in the DCU, has a canary cry that can incapacitate enemies.
Come on. It’s Barda. Canary may be a really good martial artist, but Barda was a Fury. Those chicks are INTENSE. In BoP, Canary went to Thailand (I think) to learn how to fight from Shiva and some old woman. She barely survived that, if I recall. Barda lived on Apokalips for years, which is a way more intense place than Thailand. In the movie adaptation of the Superman/Batman arc where they go to Apokalips, she singlehandedly defeated a fire breathing tank. In BoP, she jumps onto a passing aircraft and punches her way in. Canary’s good, but she’s not THAT good.
Cassandra Cain vs. Jason Blood
Cass: Can read body language like an actual language, one of the best fighters in the DCU.
Jason Blood: He’s magical, or something.
Jason Blood is nebbish dude who never leaves his library of magical artifacts. He’s no match for Cass, who once defeated Shiva.
Jaime Reyes vs. Kyle Rayner
Jaime: His scarab armour can do pretty much anything: fly, shoot stuff, make shields, etc.
Kyle: His ring can make anything that he thinks of materialize.
I would never have remembered this if Jonas didn’t mention it, but the scarabs HATE Green Lanterns. The scarab is normally fairly psycho, but against a Green Lantern it would be unstoppable. Let us not forget that in Blue Beetle Jaime was doing pretty well in his fight with Guy Gardner until Guy realized Jaime was a kid (and then he just left Jaime stranded on another planet with no clothes on...) Not only is Jaime strong with the armour, but he’s smart and good at strategizing. In his climactic fight with the Reach, he had backup plan after backup plan and he wasn’t defeated even when they took the scarab.
I think Kyle would win this one. He's more experienced and has better fighting skills.
Booster Gold vs. Conner Kent
Booster Gold: Can travel through time, can fly, has a robot sidekick.
Conner Kent: Has all the powers of Superman.
At first glance, this matchup may seem ludicrous: Booster Gold has been the butt of jokes for years and Conner has DNA from both Supes and Lex Luthor. BUT, Booster can just go back in time and stop Conner from ever being born/made. FIGHT. OVER.
Let's be honest: Booster has no chance of winning against Superboy.