Saturday, March 27, 2010

Worst of All-Star Batman

Coincidentally, while typing in the title of this post, I accidentally wrote "EW". That about sums up my feelings of these panels. In his script for this page, Frank Miller said something like, "Okay Jim, I'm shameless. Go for the ass shot" or something. Classy. In Frank Miller's mind, women lounge around in front of large windows in pink lingerie drinking martinis.

Most of the time, I look on All-Star Batman like a two legged retarded puppy: kind of hilarious, but pathetic at the same time. But when a whole page is taken up by close-ups of boobs, ass, and va-jay-jay, I just want to punch Frank Miller. Jim Lee is not my favourite artist, but he deserves better than this.

Also in Frank Miller's mind, people regularly use the term "sexpot." Look, I get it if you're talking about like, Bridget Bardot or something, but who has actually called another human a sexpot in passing? I mean, what? Frank Miller and his fans think he's being "edgy" and "dark" when really he's just being BATSHIT INSANE.

If, out of context, you saw a man with this expression on his face eyeing a 12-year-old boy in spandex tights and saying "I've got an eye for talent", what would you think?

Yeah, I thought so.

You know, I really could have lived with the whole objectification of women thing that All-Star Batman did. I don't like it, but if I only read comics that were purely feminist, well, I wouldn't read comics. What really got me was the complete lack of redeeming qualities in anyone shown. Batman, thugs, even this random woman. I totally understand wanting to get revenge on someone who was going to hurt you, but she watched these men get beaten to within an inch of their lives with such a look of glee, and then stomped this one guy. Her expression scared me as much as the conscience-free thugs did.

So, Batman has a mechanical T-rex in the batcave. No big deal.

So here's a test to see if you're mentally sound. You're at the circus when the performers get shot. Do you look shocked and horrified like Vicki Vale? Or do you look like you're contemplating how to take over the world (Pinky)? If it's the latter, you have a problem. Please seek help.

1 comment:

  1. All Star Batman and Robin: Or, How I Learned to Stop Making Sense and Love Pandering To Sadomasochists.