Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Day of the Ponytail

I think we can all agree that ponytails are generally the domain of the female. I very rarely see men with ponytails, and if they do have ponytails, they're low on their heads. But in comics, the rules are different.

Did Canary do his hair or something? That's the only way I imagine a man would actually do his hair like this. This is an immaculate ponytail with no hair sticking out, and it's pulled back super tightly from his head. Not only is he wearing a ponytail, but he's wearing a ponytail he put effort into. You need gel or something to get it that perfect. He put thought into his hairdo.

Oh hey Canary, you look really manly all of a...wait. That's just another man with blow dried anime hair in a ponytail. This guy is hilarious. He's supposed to be really scary and psycho, but all I could think when I was reading this was "I CANNOT TAKE THIS GUY SERIOUSLY WITH HIS LONG, FLOWING LOCKS."

If I'm recalling correctly (which I might not be) this guy is in some sort of secret service or some such. Wearing your hair in a ponytail is not the way to go about inspiring fear in people.

Comic books are not the only form of media susceptible to this phenomenon. Animation is as well.

Let's ignore the fact that this guy might be wearing chaps. His hair here looks like those cartoon pictures of little girls who have a little ponytail sticking up because they're supposed to be cute. Or like, little lapdogs who have the ponytail to show that they're pampered. This is not the thing to wear if you want to be thought of as masculine, ever.

Wow. Not only is he wearing like, some sort of retro sixties ponytail, he is accessorizing with a headband that matches the rest of his outfit. Comics are insane.

I love you, Deadpool. Keep doing what you're doing.

Like I said before, I was going to stay away from cheap shots on Rob Liefeld, but I feel like this needs to be seen:

It's like every bad hair sin of comics personified. High ponytail, check. Unnecessary additions to the hairdo, check. Mullet, check. In the words of the guys at Progressive Boink, "Can you imagine how hard you would elbow your friend if you saw a dude with three ponytails? You would elbow the shit out of them."

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