Saturday, July 10, 2010

Counterparts Pt. II: Electric Boogaloo

Wonder Twins/Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver
Both fulfill the role of: The Twins
-They are twins.

These four actually aren’t too similar, but there are one main set of twins in the DCU and the Marvel U, so I put them together. I also freely admit that all my knowledge of the Wonder Twins come from Superfriends, and they are easily the most enjoyable part of that show. In the Ultimate universe, Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver are incestuous, and Scarlet Witch indirectly causes the deaths of Vision, Scott Lang, and Hawkeye, which is not cool.
Winner: Wonder Twins for DC.

Both fulfill the role of: The Unbalanced Mercenary
-Slightly insane
-A little psychotic

This one’s a little harder. I legitimately love Deadpool and have read almost all of his various solo series, but Deathstroke is one of those that I love FOR NO APPARENT REASON. Although he killed a bunch of lions on Secret Six, which sucks. What did those lions do to you, Slade?* And his main adversaries are the Teen Titans, and really, how much of a loser do you have to be that you regularly fight a bunch of teenagers? Then again, Deadpool’s main adversary is T-Ray, who I hate with fire of a thousand suns. Even though I have to deal with T-Ray’s appearances every so often, Deadpool is just awesome. That’s all there is to it. He’s insane, he’s hilarious, but he also has depth which keeps him from being a relentlessly cartoonish character.
Winner: Deadpool for Marvel.
*Turns out it was just Deadshot, yet another interchangeable mercenary who never misses.

Green Arrow/Hawkeye
Both fulfill the role of: The Charming and Cocky Archer.

I don’t really know how to feel about Ollie. He’s definitely hilarious. There was one issue where he teamed up with Nightwing and repeatedly just reamed on him, calling him “Short Pants” and telling him to stop posing. In Superman/Batman Superman and Batman went to see him (to reassure themselves, it was after they got caught in this alternate reality, long story) and he was hilariously cranky. This shouldn’t really have an effect on my decision, but Ollie is easily my second favourite character on Batman: The Brave and the Bold (first is Jaime). On the other hand, Speedy got addicted to heroin and Ollie just got pissed at him and threw him out on the street. When Canary nursed him back to health, Ollie basically took credit for his recovery. And he cheated on Canary. CANARY. That woman wears leather and fishnets all the time. If you have her, you should do everything you can to keep her. I haven’t read much about Hawkeye, but what I have read (She-Hulk and Young Avengers) he’s pretty awesome. He was really sweet in She-Hulk and he’s a pretty good wisecracker. He was also very sweet in Young Avengers, and is probably the only adult hero who actually supported the Young Avengers, which was nice to see. Hawkeye’s probably the last hero I would have thought would want to serve as a mentor, but he was considering it. They both have ridiculously stupid costumes. Ollie’s got the Robin Hood thing going on, which is okay I guess, but I hate hate hate his facial hair. Hawkeye’s would be okay if he didn’t have that weird loincloth thing.
Winner: It’s a draw! On Ollie’s good days I like him better, but I can’t get over his treatment of Speedy and Canary. And Hawkeye was really quite good in Young Avengers.

Lois Lane/MJ Watson
Both fulfill the role of: The Love Interest
-Love interest of the most well-known hero in their respective universes.
-Both get kidnapped a lot.
-Took forever to learn their boyfriends’ superhero identities.

So I don’t actually know a whole lot about either of these two. Lois gets automatic points because she’s a journalist and so am I! MJ is an actress or some such. Both the relationships are sweet and stable. I have no idea if this is actually true, but I see MJ as more of a damsel in distress type. Both of them have been around for decades and by necessity, their personalities would have changed during that (if I recall, MJ used to be a bubble-headed party girl, which she really isn’t now). As such, Lois used to be a damsel in distress a lot too, but now from what I’ve read of her she’s pretty badass. She definitely unsettled Oracle in Birds of Prey and while she ended up losing that confrontation, it was still pretty awesome. Also, I love how she’s portrayed on Smallville. I don’t remember MJ ever being really awesome. She’s just kind of meh for me.
Winner: Lois Lane for DC.

And it’s another DC victory, but it was pretty close. I had no idea I liked this many DC characters more than Marvel characters. I expected it to be way more even.

This seems like a perfect time to recount one of the most random moments of my life. I was in Midtown mall in Saskatoon browsing the DVD sets in HMV when this guy comes up to me. I was looking at Stargate SG-1 at the time, and he’s like, “Do you like Smallville?” I’ve seen like the first six seasons but hadn’t watched it for a few years at that point. I’m like, “Yeah, I used to watch it.” Turns out he’s a tech guy from the set who was on vacation. He immediately launched into this lecture about the show, telling me about the actors and what they’re planning for the next season. He also went on and on about how nice Erica Durance is. It was pretty cool since I love TV and I like Smallville but to this day I have NO IDEA why he started talking to me. I mean, maybe if I was looking at Smallville DVDs, but I wasn’t. Maybe he was just hitting on me, but he was like forty. Does he just go up to random people like, “Hey, I’m a techie on Smallville” just so they can be impressed? It was the strangest thing that has ever happened to me.

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