Monday, January 24, 2011

Who would win in a fight?

I picked ten heroes from the DCU and MU (five males, five females) and put their names on pieces of paper and mixed them up in two separate bowls. I picked two at a time and pitted them against each other. Before you are the results:

Spider-Man vs. Aquaman
Spider-Man- web shooters, increased speed and agility, can stick to walls.
Aquaman- Can talk to animals, can breathe underwater

On paper, Aquaman looks really lame, but he’s stronger than people give him credit for. Dude got his arm chewed off by a piranha and he’s still badass. Unfortunately, all fights take place on land, so Aquaman has a distinct disadvantage already. Spider-Man is faster and more agile. However, overall Aquaman is definitely stronger and probably the better strategist. In his fight with Namor, he dropped a whale on that guy’s head. Aquaman just needs to do that and Spidey’s toast.
WINNER: Aquaman

Molly Hayes vs. Blue Beetle (Jaime Reyes)
Blue Beetle- basically anything: suit has a large arsenal of weapons, strength, speed, flight.
Molly Hayes- super-strength, cuteness.

This one seems easy at first: Molly doesn’t have much besides super strength, and she has to sleep after even one use of that resource. Blue Beetle can do practically anything. HOWEVER, Jaime would never in a million years use his powers against an eleven year old girl, especially since he has a sister the same age. I think they would make a truce.

Hercules vs. Ragdoll
Ragdoll- can contort himself into any shape imaginable
Hercules- super strength

If Ragdoll tries to pull his signature move and strangle Herc from above, Herc will crush him like a beer can.
WINNER: Hercules

Power Man vs. Power Girl (I swear I didn’t rig this)
Power Man- skin of steel, super strength
Power Girl- Flight, super strength, skin of steel

This would be a pretty even match. Both are very strong, both are brawlers, and both are determined. But even though Power Man has about 250 pounds on her, he’s only human and she’s a Kryptonian. Plus she can fly.
WINNER: Power Girl

Outlaw vs. Damian Wayne (Robin)
Outlaw- expert markswoman, martial artist, degree of super strength
Damian- martial artist

If Outlaw was doing her best, I would say she would win hands down. But here’s what I see happening: Outlaw would be pulling her punches because Damian’s just a kid. He would then sneak in there and take her down because he has no such compunctions.

WINNER: Damian

Squirrel Girl vs. Oracle
Squirrel Girl- practically invincible
Oracle- martial artist, professional badass

Much as I love Oracle, Squirrel Girl pwns everyone. No exceptions.

WINNER: Squirrel Girl

Spider-Girl vs. Guy Gardner
Spider-Girl- enhanced strength, speed, and agility; can stick to things, trained fighter
Guy Gardner- Power ring allows him to make anything he thinks of manifest, pretty strong without it though

Guy has no such moral standards about beating up on teenagers, thus, no silly draws here. Spider-Girl has been improving and she’s taken down an impressive number of villains, but Guy has been in the game longer, he can make anything he wants just by thinking about it, and he really, really wants to win.
WINNER: Guy Gardner

Deadpool vs. Wonder Woman
Deadpool- healing factor, expert at multiple weapons
Wonder Woman- flight, expert martial artist, owns lasso of truth

Let’s face it: Wonder Woman is A-list, and Deadpool is stuck in the B-list. In Secret Six, Deadshot shot at her at point blank range and she deflected every bullet with her bracelets. She’s been in the JLA with Plastic Man so she’s immune to mile a minute patter. He may be able to heal, but all she has to do is pick him up and fly him to the nearest lake and drop him in.

WINNER: Wonder Woman

Cassandra Cain vs. She-Hulk
Cass- can predict opponents’ moves, excellent martial artist
She-Hulk- super strength, healing

Cassandra is undoubtedly the better fighter, but She-Hulk is about 10 times stronger than Cass is. So the question is, does strategy beat pure muscle? All Cass would have to do is that nerve pinch thing she's done to Spoiler multiple times, and Shulkie's out.

Wolverine vs. Barda
Wolverine- adamantium claws, healing factor, indestructible skeleton
Barda- extreme strength, awesomeness

Wolverine has brute strength and determination, but Barda lived in Apokalips for a long time. That place isn’t exactly Candyland. Plus Barda can uproot trees. She’s stronger than Wolverine AND she’s the more advanced fighter.

Tie: 1


  1. Sorry Robin, but your matchup for Power Man is wrong on two counts:

    1. Power Man isn't quite human. While he's mostly human now, there was a time in his career where he was a being made up entirely of ionic energy. Even today that energy still gives him his powers. The consensus is that he's about as durable as Thor.

    2. Power Man can fly.

    The consensus is that Power Girl, as a distaff Superman, could *probably* take Power Man, but it would be a long drawn out fight that would destroy several cities. However, Kryptonian's react strangely to exotic energy types, so there's a wildcard situation where Power Man's energy does weird things to Power Girl like drain her energy or make her euphoric or something like that.

    And when I say consensus, I really mean "what Andrew thinks".

  2. Since when can Power Man fly? He hasn't done that yet in his series.

    Power Girl is a Kryptonian, so she has the same powers as Superman. Would you still say Luke Cage would win in a fight with Superman?

  3. I am kind of surprised you didn't comment on the Aquaman/Spidey matchup.