Disco Fever

Look at Tim's arm compared to Kon's! I know Kon's supposed to be Superman's clone but GEEZ, I'm pretty sure Tim gets an ample amount of exercise. His arm is skinner than mine and I have NO muscle tone.

I adore Power Man and Iron Fist, mostly for the camp factor. So imagine how excited I was to see them team up with Dazzler, who instantly adds camp to any comic she's in! What I love most about this, though, is her disbelief: "Somehow I managed to win a fight with three mutants! I mean, I sure don't fucking know how THAT happened, seeing as how my power is to turn sound waves into light waves or some shit. I'm just here to disco."

Moving on: In general, Etrigan's rhymes are hit or miss: either the writers can do his dialogue without narm, or they can't. In Brave and the Bold, I thought JMS did a pretty good job. Except for the following, which I'm not sure is the best or worst of Etrigan's rhymes I've seen:

I'm leaning towards best. Elegant in its simplicity.

That slash is in the title for a few reasons

I recently watched Superman/Batman: Apocalypse, and it got me back into Superman/Batman. I haven't read the series for awhile because it stopped making much sense after Jeph Loeb left, but it's getting (somewhat) better, due in no small part to the first annual issue, written by Joe Kelly. I believe it's a reimagining of an older story, so it's in a different timeline than the rest of the series. Hence, why Clark and Bruce don't know each other.

I don't remember much of the background because I was too enthralled with the blatant homoeroticism, but Lois and Clark are on a cruise to do some kind of story for the Daily Planet and Bruce is also there to do his womanizing playboy thing (more than any other chara

cter, it is SO WEIRD to see him without his costume. I think in part because his superhero personality and civilian personality are so different).

The whole thing reads like a romantic comedy. I'm not even kidding. It's not just a little

homoerotic and you can kind of see it if you're trying to see it. It's BLATANT. Clark and Bruce first start arguing when checking in, and then quickly realize that someone screwed up their reservations.

I'm not kidding. They have to share a room. Not like I've seen that in a billion teen shows and romantic comedies or anything. Lois is amused. I'm fairly sure they're dating or married at this point, so why she won't let him share her room, I honestly have no idea.

But it gets better.

Yes. They have to share a bed. And it looks like a twin or something. I absolutely love that Clark left his glasses on to sleep. This is the peril of not having a well thought out disguise: when the only thing separating you from Superman is a curl and glasses, what happens when you have to lose both of them?

Deadpool NotDeathstroke knows what's up.

You might ask, how can this get gayer than two men with a history of homoerotic subtext being forced to sleep in the same bed? Well...

Yes. Clark undressed Bruce. And not just with his eyes, like he usually does.

Joe Kelly=a national treasure.

Poor Streaky

"Figure out my secret identity yet? It's not like I wear a mask or anything. And sometimes I show up in my Super

man identity while looking like Clark Kent." For God's sakes, it even took his own WIFE forever to figure it out.

If the Secret Six take over the world, we're screwed because Ragdoll will be ruling us. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than having Deadshot as a ruler. But nowhere near as bad as Cheshire or Parademon. If this happens, I'm moving to Africa.

Fans of Power Girl may be going, "Wait! Streaky's actually orange!" Well, it takes about three issues of her comic to realize that Streaky is covered in dust from his kitty litter, Peej=worst pet owner ever.

Bye bye, Bats

What I love about this:

1. Superman's kind of confused expression.

2. Kyle's "Oh, Guy...

" facepalm.

3. Batman's analytical "hnn"

4. JOHN'S EXPRESSION OF ABSOLUTE HORROR. You'd think that Cthulhu's tentacles had just emerged from Guy's ass.

This is why Guy's the best GL of all time: he has the balls to moon Batman AND HE WILL DO SO IN SPACE.

Chase is proof that you don't need powers to be a superhero.

Also amusing: the "snik" noise his knife makes. I guess "snikt" is trademarked by Wolverine.

That pantsless suit is so attractive.

Wow, Booster. That is...some hair you've got there.

There's just something so charming about this panel. Poor C-list villain...you'll never get the respect that you so crave.

THE LITTLE CHIBI VILLAINS ARE SO CUTE! Catwoman (unfortunately not pictured) was the cutest, but I also love Mr. Freeze there (his gun shoots ice cream) but of course, I would be remiss if I didn't mention little Lex riding on adorable/ugly Doomsday.

I also like the Tin Soldier segment

If you were going to make a joke about the Greek gods' choices in sexual partners, you could do a lot better than a homosexuality joke. For instance, you could talk about Zeus's penchant for fucking anything with four legs, or his penchant for fucking his relatives.

Hey, I love Fantasia 2000. Rhapsody in Blue and Carnival of the Animals were great.

My favourite part of Superman/Batman was Superman's unexpected snark streak. He's kind of like Betty White on Golden Girls: you think he's so sweet and innocent and then BAM snark attack! It works especially well since Batman (when not written by Joe Kelly at least) is so humourless.

I can't think of Sherwood Forest the same way.

So much about this that I love. Doom didn't have enough foresight to make his armour impervious to repeated blows. Luke is the only - repeat, THE ONLY - person to e

ver try this. Doom's face whe

n his circuitry breaks down. And later on Doom is completely charmed by Luke Cage and shows him a secret passageway out of his castle and lets him escape Latveria. I smell sitcom.

Come on, DC, you already have one skank with a boob window, and her name is Power Girl.

Yeah, they did a lot more than that, chibi!Canary, but you're too young to hear about that.

I'm eating for A THOUSAND

I'm very amused how May is completely unconcerned with Felicity Hardy and Franklin Richards back there. She doesn't care that one or both may be injured. She's all, "damn, Scarlet

Spider fell...oh well, at least Franklin broke her fall." At least now May cares about Franklin about as much as everyone else does. Hopefully his appearances will be few and far between now that May doesn't have a crush on him anymore. I'll take more Darkdevil instead. Or Normie and Raptor.

Well this is...less than appealing.

Side note: DC has some pretty stupid villains. Marvel has Stilt-Man and Lady Stilt-Man, but DC has both a caterpillar with super intelligence (Mr. Mind) and a blue and purple star that attaches to your face (Starro).

Best story arc of LIFE (well, in the DCU at least...it's about on par with the Luke Cage storyline where he strong arms the FF into giving him their jet and then he flies to Latveria to get Doom to cough up two hundred bucks.) Anyway, chibi heroes and villains appear in the normal universe and have to learn to cope.

As a side note, I was showing my Mom different examples of artwork to see which ones she liked best. I showed her this panel (Rafael Albuquerque), Studio Udon, I think Michael Turner, and Ed McGuinness. Mom liked this one the least, and when I asked her why she said that "the characters looked too childlike." I then informed her that was the point. You'd think she'd have realized that from the presence of the real Batman, but then again I had sensed that her heart wasn't really in the discussion.

Sound Effect Mania

I've had a bunch of sound effect pictures saved for an epic post, and that time is TODAY, my friends!

Green Goblin is second only to T-Ray (and maybe Typhoid Mary) on my list of most hated villains, but he has some badass sound effects. BWOMF? Come on, that's awesome. If I ever write comic books, I would have so much fun making up the most random sound effects.

Plus I love puns.

Booster Gold/Donkey Kong crossover: SO WRONG, IT'S RIGHT.

I'm sorry, but I have NO IDEA what KRAKKA KRAKKA FOOM is supposed to sound like in real life. Maybe the FOOM part, but not the

KRAKKA KRAKKA.

Ditto for RRAKKOOOO. Half

the time I think the writers are just fucking with us with some of these sound effects.

PS: I like that Hal/Parallax says "Gnats" when something goes wrong.

Like RUMP? Come on, that's a noun, not a sound effect. Parenthetically, I have no idea what comic this is from. I should label my pictures better.

So that's the sound that grabbing a hidden recorder from a dbag in a weird looking wetsuit makes.

If you've ever wondered what it sounds like when your fake parents from another universe make a cake come into existence out of thin air...now you know.

On the other hand, this is a great representation of what it would sound like to get your heart removed by Zombie Ted.

Fred Van Lente is, hands down, the king of sound effects. Sproy bloom? It makes NO SENSE but it's AWESOME.

PS: This is my only exposure to Namora, and I LOVE HER despite the fact that she is for some reason in love with her cousin Namor, he of the Spock eyebrows and scaly Speedos.

Edit: Apparently Namor and Namora are NOT related by blood, making her crush less uncomfortable. I still ship Namora/Herc though.

Biopropellent

I just love Cass and Steph. There are a bunch of female superheroes that I love, but the two Batgirls are rare in that they don't have to dress like skanks. I've stated a few times that Cass's costume is my favourite and while I'm not a huge fan of the Spoiler costume (I like Steph's Batgirl costume a lo

t more) I do have to appreciate that Steph's not all boobs and legs in it (plus I think she's about 16 here so...that would be creepy). Cass is definitely one of the most formidable superheroes in the DCU (I'm pretty sure she defeated Shiva which is...not that easy) and even Batman respects her. Steph is less so but she tries hard and genuinely works to become better. Why did these girls not have their own series together? Come on, DC.

I have almost no memory of this storyline. I think it was from Superman/Batman but I'm not even

really sure of that. If it was, it's from the post-Jeph Loeb era where nothing makes sense anymore. I just appreciate the stuttering robot calling the other robot an asshole.

This is from Cable and Deadpool. I read this last year and then again really recently. I had NO memory of Shatterstar's one panel appearance. I love him and his three ponytails. My only exposure to X-Force is from whenever they show up in Deadpool and when Boom Boom/Meltdown/Tabby was on Nextwave. I don't know what it is, but every time I see them I just get the feeling that they're X-Men rejects who want desperately to be taken seriously but they can't. I mean come on: Shatterstar has three ponytails and wears boxing headgear, Cannonball(s) wears aviator goggles, and Siryn has some kind of weird cape thingie attached to her wrists. I don't even know what Cannonball's power is. He says he's a "biopropellent" and it appears that fire comes out of his ass and makes him fly. What a great power.

Aquaman is Badass

Everyone always likes Ollie's boxing glove arrow, but I'm kind of in love with the bolas arr

ow. That takes real creativity. Or insanity. Whichever.

I'm not surprised this tool is leaning on her boob. What I am surprised is that they aren't attracting anything else in the room, as they're probably big enough to have their own gravitational field. She's got Betty level assets.

On another note, I enjoy Felicia and Spider-Man's interaction. My knowledge of their relationship is limited to a few issues of Ultimate Spider-Man and this mini series. They're like Marvel's Batman/Catwoman, except way more fun and less angsty. They banter well, they're actually friends, and they make a great team.

Here's my issue with Felicia though: why even bother wearing the mask? It doesn't hide her identity, and even if someone for some reason doesn't recognize her face, how many women in their mid-20s have long, flowing white hair?

Sad Krypto is sad:( I can't stress enough how much I love that all the Superpets have little red capes.

It takes him four steps just to put on his mask

Now I know this featureless face is the Question's

schtick, or whatever...but it seems way

easier to just wear a mask.

That is the saddest human transformed into a werewolf transformed into a talking dog who is known as a Stargod that I have ever seen.

The thing with She-Hulk and Stargod bothered me because first of all, he didn't like her in her She-Hulk form, and if you're going to marry someone, you should accept every part of them, you know? Second, lots of people called Jen a hypocrite in that she didn't like John in his Stargod form. Think about it for a second: the difference between the two situations is that only one is committing bestiality here.

There's just something that really tickles me about the phrase "That's why you get the medium bucks."

In other news, I'm going to cheat on my new husband, the Condiment King, with Slyfox, who I persist in calling Slylock Fox in my head.

I wonder if Grodd visited the CN tower...but he would probably break through the glass floor

You would not believe my excitement when I saw that Grodd was visiting Toronto! Not only is he going to Canada, b

ut he's going to my adopted homeland! When I read this, I was like, "Does...does that mean Wonder Woman and

Nemesis are going to Canada?"

You bet it does, chums! There really need to be more Canadian superheroes. Yes, there is Alpha Flight, but who's even heard of them? Yes, there is Wolverine except he lives in

New York. And I guess there's kinda sorta Deadpool, but he's, you know, not really a hero. And we need one living and working in the cities of Canada. I mean, we know that there's a secret cell of the Society living in Toronto AND we know that Grodd has been there. WHO WILL PROTECT US?

Speaking of Wonder Woman (with bonus Barda):

I loved how Michael Turner drew women in Superman/Batman. Diana and Barda are both so pretty here! I think it has something to do with how he drew the eyes, but I can't really define it. They also have cute little button noses. I really liked Superman/Batman until Jeph Loeb left and then it started making zero sense. I'm still reading it because I think it gets better, but it's slow going. It's as bad as when I was reading Christopher Priest's run on Deadpool and NOTHING made sense.

But where is Cage's tiara?

Ever wonder where Luke Cage's shirt went after he stopped wearing it?














Wonder no more.

Wolvie and Shulkie are fighting wendigoes when he mentions that his bones are laced with
adamantium.

















I just got the joke.















And that might be the most gratuitous shot of a teenage girl's ass I've ever seen.