My stomach was making the rumblies...that only hands could satisfy

"Caaaarl! That kills people, Caaaarl!"

That's awkward, Magog, seeing as how SPOILER Rip's actually Booster's son.

Here's a picture that I've had forever but never used:

A pubescent Spider-Man getting hit in the chest with a very phallic object wielded by Doc Ock. You're welcome.

Batman called Jay "sir"

As my sister said, "Wolverine has to be the brains of the outfit. They're in trouble."

I haven't gone into my Robert Kirkman rant (in short: there's something about his original work that just seems off to me; the characters don't seem real) but Marvel Teamup is nonstop fun from beginning to end. I loved it so much I read the 25 issues in two days. Around the beginning of the Freedom Ring arc it was kind of less of a teamup and more "random slacker guy gets random powers" but it was still a good arc. His Spider-Man was a lot of fun, as well as his Wolverine and Nick Fury.

Aw yeah, Jay Garrick, the best mother effin Golden Age hero! His teamup with Batman was AWESOME. It mostly consisted of Jay ordering Batman around and saving the day while Batman just punched people. I love his little hat and his optimistic attitude and his grace in getting older.

This is the best throwaway line ever. Worst. Assignment. Ever. Or maybe the best?

Pimp

This dude is PIMPED. OUT. Check out that gigantic gau

ntlet. Also, if I'm not mistaken, he runs his little operation inside the alternate dimensio

n inside Cloak's cloak.

From Batman and Robin, I present to you: Flamingo.

Damian: I expected scary, not gay.

I can't remember this plotline AT ALL, but I love JJ's bling.

This guy has, hands down, the best outfit of all time. Pimp on top, voodoo master on the bottom.

I love these time travelling pimp wolves. Probably the only part of Joss Whedon's run on Runaways that I liked.

Sound Effect Mania

I've had a bunch of sound effect pictures saved for an epic post, and that time is TODAY, my friends!

Green Goblin is second only to T-Ray (and maybe Typhoid Mary) on my list of most hated villains, but he has some badass sound effects. BWOMF? Come on, that's awesome. If I ever write comic books, I would have so much fun making up the most random sound effects.

Plus I love puns.

Booster Gold/Donkey Kong crossover: SO WRONG, IT'S RIGHT.

I'm sorry, but I have NO IDEA what KRAKKA KRAKKA FOOM is supposed to sound like in real life. Maybe the FOOM part, but not the

KRAKKA KRAKKA.

Ditto for RRAKKOOOO. Half

the time I think the writers are just fucking with us with some of these sound effects.

PS: I like that Hal/Parallax says "Gnats" when something goes wrong.

Like RUMP? Come on, that's a noun, not a sound effect. Parenthetically, I have no idea what comic this is from. I should label my pictures better.

So that's the sound that grabbing a hidden recorder from a dbag in a weird looking wetsuit makes.

If you've ever wondered what it sounds like when your fake parents from another universe make a cake come into existence out of thin air...now you know.

On the other hand, this is a great representation of what it would sound like to get your heart removed by Zombie Ted.

Fred Van Lente is, hands down, the king of sound effects. Sproy bloom? It makes NO SENSE but it's AWESOME.

PS: This is my only exposure to Namora, and I LOVE HER despite the fact that she is for some reason in love with her cousin Namor, he of the Spock eyebrows and scaly Speedos.

Edit: Apparently Namor and Namora are NOT related by blood, making her crush less uncomfortable. I still ship Namora/Herc though.

Aquaman is Badass

Everyone always likes Ollie's boxing glove arrow, but I'm kind of in love with the bolas arr

ow. That takes real creativity. Or insanity. Whichever.

I'm not surprised this tool is leaning on her boob. What I am surprised is that they aren't attracting anything else in the room, as they're probably big enough to have their own gravitational field. She's got Betty level assets.

On another note, I enjoy Felicia and Spider-Man's interaction. My knowledge of their relationship is limited to a few issues of Ultimate Spider-Man and this mini series. They're like Marvel's Batman/Catwoman, except way more fun and less angsty. They banter well, they're actually friends, and they make a great team.

Here's my issue with Felicia though: why even bother wearing the mask? It doesn't hide her identity, and even if someone for some reason doesn't recognize her face, how many women in their mid-20s have long, flowing white hair?

Sad Krypto is sad:( I can't stress enough how much I love that all the Superpets have little red capes.

Nilbog! It's Goblin backwards! This is their kingdom!

Evidently Arnold from Troll 2 has made an appearance. "They're eating her. Then

they're gonna

eat me. Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!"

I love Jon's expression. He's like, "Please don't look at me, please don't look at me, please don't look at me..."

I think Dr. Doom is probably the first villain to realize that spiders are NOT insects. They are in fact, arachnids. He truly is the smartest person in the Marvel U.

Pull my finger

What I like a lot about Incredible Hercules is that they take stories from mythology and make the gods into real, accessible people and show how the myths affect the gods. For example, Hercules is slightly ashamed of Zeus's predilection for both incest and forced bestiality. And then there's this:















I'm not giving context for the floating brains. Side note: My other favourite Incredible Herc moment is when Hercules is fighting an evil version of himself in the underworld. It shows Sisyphus pushing the rock up the mountain and then one of the Hercs smashing into it. Sisyphus is like, "Yeah!" but then it reappears (with the sound effect "Sisypoof") and he's immediately sad. People think comics are for dumb people, but most of the time you have to be smart to understand what's going on. You won't be able to get half the jokes in Incredible Herc if you don't have some kind of understanding of the Greek myths.
















IhavetosayitIhavetosayitIhavetosayit...
Bees. My God.
I think this was from Jodi Picoult's run on Wonder Woman and I'll be honest...I wasn't expecting much. I still think she is the most RANDOM choice ever to write comic books. I actually really liked it! Surprisingly, I'm enjoying it slightly more than Gail Simone's run (BUT I STILL LOVE YOU GAIL)(Also I'm not that many issues in). I feel like she wrote Nemesis really out of character, but he was so much fun that I didn't really care.

This might be my favourite Spider-Man joke ever. I still laugh when I see it:

Yeah, boyeeeeeeeee

I was reading over my Dr. Strange post of yesterday, and just realized he has the "greying at the temples" hair like pretty much every Marvel male (and Mr. Lodge from Archie, if I recall). I've never seen that hair on anyone in real life, and yet in Marvel off the top of my head there's Reed Richards, Dr. Strange, Nick Fury, and J. Jonah Jameson. I don't think DC has any that I can recall right now (except maybe Perry White?) Maybe that's the hair Stan Lee wishes he had.

Anyway. So I recently started reading She-Hulk (a little bit of Sensational, but mostly v.1 and v.2). I was IMMENSELY disappointed when I saw that Juan Bobillo was pencilling it, because his work was just painful when he was on Agent X. If you'll recall, here's an example:














Ugh. Alex looks like a gorilla. Sandy doesn't look like herself. I can't recall who did inking, but even that's just bad. It looks like someone left the comic out in the sun and it faded. But I was quite pleasantly surprised when I started reading She-Hulk.















He always draws her with this kind of Daria expression of superiority and boredom on her face all the time that I kind of find charming. He draws her boobs very very large but you know, it's She-Hulk AND it's a comic book, what are you gonna do? I was even a little disappointed when they switched artists. Comparing She-Hulk to Agent X though, I can't believe it's the same penciller. Because I hated every single aspect of his art in Agent X and in She-Hulk my feelings range from "hmm, this is kind of charming" to "you know what? I don't mind it." I would have assumed that he just evolved, but She-Hulk was written (I believe) 3 years before Agent X.
















Context? You can't handle the context.

Mark Bagley

I have the feeling that I'm in the minority here, but...I hate Mark Bagley's art. I don't deny that he is talented in the technical aspect of art. But there's a different between being technically correct and being aesthetically pleasing.

Don't believe me?














They both look like they're having strokes and then look at Luke's eyes in the third panel. THEY'RE LOOKING IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.















Luke is...passable here (his mouth looks a little weird though). But there's just something weird going on with Jessica. With Bagley's art, I can't define what is wrong with it, except it's just FREAKISH. There's something with the lips though, those always look weird. Jessica just looks like she's dead or dying here. I like the attention to detail with the hair though. I think as long as he's not drawing faces then he's okay.

It might just be that he can't draw women though. Because even from Ultimate Spider-Man I recall being freaked out by MJ and Gwen, but not so much by Peter or Kingpin or that friend of Flash's or Harry. But then again, Luke Cage looks weird most of the time, and Ben Urich is looking the worse for wear.














Anyway, looking at the picture above, I remember not liking the depiction of Jessica here, but it looks fine now. (I just checked out the bigger picture and I know why I saved this image: Jessica' eyes are two different sizes. Bagley does this A LOT.) JJJ looks great though. And he was consistently great throughout The Pulse (which is where these images were taken from). So I guess there was no point putting this picture in, except JJJ kinda looks like Nick Fury and that makes me happy.

So about consistency: sometimes Bagley's depictions of women are really pretty, like this:















See? Pretty! (I left in the Jonah heads for the WTF factor. I particularly like the one on the right. There are a million things that look could be signifying)

I hate most of Bagley's art, but I haven't seen a portrayal of Spider-Man that I enjoy more than his:
















I haven't seen a lot of his portrayals of costumed characters so I can't say for sure, but I think Bagley's strength does lie with the costumes. His drawing of the Green Goblin in The Pulse was very creepy and well done, and every time he draws Spider-Man in Ultimate Spider-Man, it's awesome.

But still, I haven't read an artist that fills me with such visceral...something. It's not really dislike, because like I said, some of his art is really good. I don't really know. But look at the drawing of Jessica laying on Luke's chest again. I think I physically recoiled when I saw that. Not even Liefeld does that to me, except I find his art more funny than anything. I think I have to see more of Bagley's stuff to make a more informed judgment.

"That's how I defenstrate, chumples!"

This might be the best thing Deadpool has every said. I can't put my finger on why I enjoy it so much, but I just think it's so funny. "THAT'S HOW I DEFENSTRATE, CHUMPLES!" It makes no sense! But it's hilarious!

I also love Spidey's expression. So confused, and yet in his heart he can't let himself be surprised. Because it's Deadpool, and Deadpool is insane.

"Meh, no need to waste time taking off this shirt. I'm just gonna rip it off." How was he hiding his cape under that suit he was wearing as a disguise? And when he ripped off his shirt, did his pants rip off as well? Batman is so hardcore.

In addition to having either the best or worst name (I can't decide which) The Malevolent Madmen look like the Satanic love child of the Power Rangers and some Fraggles. So is it just a thing that Booster Gold and Blue Beetle get the worst villains, seeing as how they're B-list and all?