I prefer his assless chaps

This is from Gotham City Sirens. The girls have just set Riddler up to get torn apart by animals commanded by Dr. Aesop (which, worst name/gimmick EVER. Seriously). I felt pretty bad for the Riddler here since he was doing the girls a favour in the first place, until I read Catwoman: When in Rome, where he drugged Catwoman so she would let Batman's identity slip. So, I don't feel as bad now.

Okay, maybe a little bad. I love him a lot as a reformed villain. He's like a morally ambiguous version of the Question.

Oh GUY.

What I enjoy about Guy's short-lived Punisher-esque phase is that HE DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO USE THOSE GUNS. So what was going through his mind when he decided to get them? "Oh, I'll just figure it out as I go along"? Because that worked out so well.

Also, I miss his hooker sidekick. He randomly started talking to her about his fears and insecurities and then she just kind of...followed him around. She never did anything. She was just kind of there. I loved her. Her presence made no sense.

Detective Chimp needs to be in more stuff because I think I'm in love with him.

I...um...what? Did they just throw a Life on Mars reference into Blue Beetle? Yes they did.

Unterrifying

Okay, come on now. There's gratuitous, and then there's cheesecake, and then there's this.

After Kara/Lobo (and just before Ollie/Deadman) Jaime/Batman was my favourite teamup from Brave and the Bold. Their personalities are completely different: Batman is dark and broody, while Jaime is fun and happy. He really wants to impress Batman, and Bats is just trying to help him be a better superhero.

Where Batman really shines, in any comic that he appears, is when he's trying to teach/help other superheroes. You would think that since Superman is nice and pure that he would be the one to mentor others, but he really isn't. He has the "Super Family" but this mostly consists of people tangentially related to him (Peej being his otherdimensional counterpart's cousin, Kon being his partial clone) who go off and do their own thing. He doesn't even hang out with Krypto that much. Bats actually mentors and teaches all of his sidekicks (by my count: three Batgirls and five Robins) and is involved in their lives and continues to be involved after they evolve (ex: Oracle, Nightwing). Not only that, but as I said before, he often supports the heroes who don't receive much support elsewhere (Booster Gold, Plastic Man). I'm not a huge fan of his mostly because I prefer my comics to be both funny and optimistic in tone, but I really like him for that.

Jarvis is no Alfred, who can extricate himself from virtually every kidnapping situation, but he tries.

I've always wanted to say that

I...can't say the same there, Dick.

My favourite part of this is the stoic security redshirt guy, who has ALSO wanted to say "Head 'em up, move 'em out."

I love La Dama's character. She's a badass crime lord...but she also genuinely loves Brenda and has her geeky little moments, like here. I was really disappointed with her depiction in the Brave and the Bold (an otherwise excellent title). She was boring and useless. Kind of like what Fabian Nicieza did to Outlaw in Cable and Deadpool.

She's not a sole survivor...Supes is still alive

So in this issue, Supes and Catwoman go to an auction to get a map they think leads t

o the Batcave. Catwoman gives him a disguise, which is basically "Clark Kent" and then they get found out. So here's my question: Since Clark Kent is a fairly well known reporter, doesn't it completely blow his secret identity to go to the auction as Clark Kent and then reveal that he's Superman? I mean, look at that first panel: THEY ARE LOOKING AT HIS ACTUAL FACE. Why are they not going, "Hey, look, this dude's Superman! Anyone recognize him?"

The Supergirl/Lobo teamup was my favourite of all time, and this moment was so unbelievably sweet. Here's the thing though: it is so so so out of character for Lobo, especially when you consider that in the SAME YEAR (2007) Lobo fought the Titans and he grabbed Supergirl by her face and chucked her practically into orbit. Here's the other thing: I don't really give a crap. I love Lobo without reservation, and I love heartwarming moments. Put the two together, and awesomeness results. Look, I just have a thing for assholes who are secretly nice, all right? It's why I read everything with Guy Gardner in it.

Oh Jaime...I didn't realize how much I missed you until your appearance in Brave and the B

old.

Sound Effect Mania

I've had a bunch of sound effect pictures saved for an epic post, and that time is TODAY, my friends!

Green Goblin is second only to T-Ray (and maybe Typhoid Mary) on my list of most hated villains, but he has some badass sound effects. BWOMF? Come on, that's awesome. If I ever write comic books, I would have so much fun making up the most random sound effects.

Plus I love puns.

Booster Gold/Donkey Kong crossover: SO WRONG, IT'S RIGHT.

I'm sorry, but I have NO IDEA what KRAKKA KRAKKA FOOM is supposed to sound like in real life. Maybe the FOOM part, but not the

KRAKKA KRAKKA.

Ditto for RRAKKOOOO. Half

the time I think the writers are just fucking with us with some of these sound effects.

PS: I like that Hal/Parallax says "Gnats" when something goes wrong.

Like RUMP? Come on, that's a noun, not a sound effect. Parenthetically, I have no idea what comic this is from. I should label my pictures better.

So that's the sound that grabbing a hidden recorder from a dbag in a weird looking wetsuit makes.

If you've ever wondered what it sounds like when your fake parents from another universe make a cake come into existence out of thin air...now you know.

On the other hand, this is a great representation of what it would sound like to get your heart removed by Zombie Ted.

Fred Van Lente is, hands down, the king of sound effects. Sproy bloom? It makes NO SENSE but it's AWESOME.

PS: This is my only exposure to Namora, and I LOVE HER despite the fact that she is for some reason in love with her cousin Namor, he of the Spock eyebrows and scaly Speedos.

Edit: Apparently Namor and Namora are NOT related by blood, making her crush less uncomfortable. I still ship Namora/Herc though.

It Sucks Being Sue Storm

Sorry about the lag. Nanowrimo/school work has been kicking my ass. But I am back, albeit sporadically.

So J

aime gets into a fight with Guy Gardner. Guy and the Green Lanterns are heavy hitters and at this point, Jaime's not very experienced. As you can see from the "KRAKKA KRAKKA BOOM" he's giving Guy everything the scarab's got. Here's Guy's rejoinder:

Guy is ON FIRE and hitting Jaime with a pathetic "plink plinkida" and he is STILL awesome. I love that man.

I love this for several reasons. One, Ben is crying like a little girl. Two, I like Thor and Iron Man's little smiles. I bet they secretly LOVE weddings. Third, JOHNNY AND REED DON'T SEE THE NEED TO CHANGE OUT OF THEIR FF COSTUMES! Sue is all dolled up like the mid nineties bride she is, but Reed is all "fuck it, I don't feel like changing." I bet he was almost late because he was fighting Dr. Doom or something and didn't want to put on his tux. He's legit the worst husband ever.

My Favourite Costumes

Batgirl (Cassandra Cain)

There’s just something about Cass’s costume that I love. I think that first of all, it’s

because it’s not skanktastic. I also like the fact that you can’t see any of her facial features, which adds mystery. The Bat family, as a whole, is mysterious and Cass’s costume reflects that very well. I think more than that, though, it just illustrates who she is. She doesn’t really have a sense of humour, and she’s not really a fun person. She’s dark, she’s gritty, and she gets her shit done, just like the costume.

Batgirl (Stephanie Brown)

Steph’s costume also really illustrates who she is. She’s a pretty fun-loving girl, and her purple costume really reflects that. Her costume is unique among the Bat-costumes in that it isn’t black, but it’s still immediately recognizable AS a Bat costume.

Robin (Tim Drake)

I’m not sure how popular the red and black Robin costume is with fans, but I love it. With the clashing red and green, it’s harder to take

him seriously. In that costume, he’s still the kid that goes, “Holy ________, Batman!” In the red costume, he’s a hero and a leader in his own right.

Black Canary (Chuck Dixon run, Birds of Prey)

During Chuck Dixon’s run on Birds of Prey, Canary got a redesign. I’m not a huge fan of the colours, but I like the streamlined look. She’s ready to fight some thugs in that costume. Her black leather costume is very divisive among women, but I don’t mind it. I recognize that it’s skanky and ill-conceived for fighting, but it’s still pretty mu

ch her trademark. I don’t like the strapless leather leotard,

but I don’t mind the high-necked, sleeveless one. Anyway, the Chuck Dixon costume is still my favourite. It had mysterious detachable pants though, which confused me.

Taskmaster (Gail Simone's run on Deadpool, Agent X)

Taskmaster’s costume was redesigned for Gail Simone’s run on Deadpool. His old costume was more stereotypically villainous, but I like that as he kind of evolved into more of an antihero, his costume evolved with him into kind of an edgy, urban look. He’s still immediately recognizable as Taskmaster, but more accessible and less cartoony.

Blue Beetle (Jaime Reyes)

Legacy characters are difficult because you have to make them recognizable as a legacy, but you also have to make them individuals. Jaime’s costume is a great example of that. The armour is beetle-like, marking him as a Blue Beetle, but it’s still so much different from the previous two costumes. I read somewhere that the patterns on it were based on Mexican wrestlers’ costumes, which was a nice homage to his Mexican heritage.

Nightwing

I like the black and light blue together. It’s such a change from his Robin costume that it’s representative of his metamorphosis into a legitimate superhero. The design on the front also reminds me of the batwings, which I’m not sure is intentional but I kind of like as a throwback to his youth.

Harley Quinn

Harley’s costume is a play on her name, but it still embodies her naïve and child-like nature. I don’t like it in and of itself, but I can’t see her wearing anything else.

Wonder Woman (Donna Troy)

From what little I’ve seen, I like Donna as Wonder Woman and I like her costume. It’s still Wonder Woman-esque, but it’s definitely her own. I also enjoy the

epaulettes.

The Legion of Superpets

Look, I love their little capes, okay?

Beat Panel Madness

This might be kind of a weird thing to say. But I LOVE beat panels. I think they're so hilarious every single time. They're like a foolproof comedy device. To whit:


















Batman glaring at Jaime while Jaime still has puke around his mouth and then Jaime being sheepish defines his whole persona (and every Batman teamup he has).















Hector: Who?
The fact that Mephistopheles (spoiler) turns out to be an old man who just wants to be left alone makes this, in hindsight, like 3x funnier.


















I just realized most of my beat panels are Blue Beetle. Oh Jaime, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET CANCELLED? And now you're with the Titans, and you're not fun.
Anyway, this is one of my favourite beat panels. Dr. Mid-Nite is such a B-lister and he finally gets his chance to mentor a young hero (just like Batman!) and...it blows up in his face.
















This is my favourite. Hal/Parallax is all in evil mode, talking about how he wants everyone to feel fear and then he looks up...and four Beetles and Booster Gold are watching him from inside a little bubble. Dan puts it best: "We're five grown men dressed in bright colours inside a clear plastic bubble set against a rainbow background, Jaime. They saw us." The two beat panels just make it better.














Jaime has just finished explaining a nefarious plan by the Reach, involving manufacturing the memories of this fellow here, whose name I can't recall. I love Danni's reaction, especially when juxtaposed with the tragic hero pose of the red guy.

Romance Is In The Air...

(Paraphrased) Huntress: We've all thought it, but we didn't act on it!

Canary kisses Batman because he saved the BoP girls, can't remember what from. I love how discombobulated Batman is. He can face dapper dudes on ostriches and crazy clowns and guys with freeze guns and a dude with a bisected face, but the only thing that can honestly surprise him is Canary laying one on him.

























Guy is absolutely my favourite Green Lantern, and this is based solely on these panels, his appearances in Blue Beetle, and some other miscellaneous Scans Daily posts. And this is pretty much the most romantic thing I have ever seen in my life, especially since it's GUY. First of all, the first panel is an obvious homage to the famous picture of the soldier kissing a woman after the war ends (not the first time DC has done this...if I recall, Zinda kisses a dude like that in Birds of Prey). And the rest is just so Guy. "It's me...you know, love of your life, love god, lizard king." Don't know what "lizard king" is supposed to mean, but this whole thing is just so GUY. It's romance, Gardner style. AND I LOVE IT.

And my favourite ever kiss in comics, EVER:
















They're all fighting aliens when Brenda gets hit and Paco thinks she's dead. Traci comes by and is all "AWAKE" and then she disappears and Brenda wakes up and is all business, trying to get Milagro away. Paco, ignoring the carnage and destruction around them, is focused on Brenda. Because he thought she died and he realized how much he liked her. And then he kisses her. Paco just looks so...manly. I didn't have a crush on Paco before BUT I SURE DO NOW.

Best part: Milagro's disgruntled look. She's all, "Hello, remember me? Milagro? My mom told you to get me out of here? You can mack on each other later." And then Guy Gardner shows up and is awesome and Milagro is awesome and everything's AWESOME. Honestly, it is the best story arc I have EVER read.

But...I don't want to go into his pants...

In this panel, Superman is talking about awesome Lois has been through the appearance of his cousin from Krypton, even buying her clothes without meeting her.

Maybe you should have let Lana pick out the clothes.















You can't really ask anyone to describe Nextwave. It's beyond description. In his pitch, Warren Ellis said "Nextwave is not about character arcs and learning and morals and hugs. It is about cramming an insane movie into 44 pages at a time...it is most especially about things blowing up and people getting kicked."

It is also about a giant green lizard monster named Fin Fang Foom who wants to put you into his purple underpants.















I have no idea who this pimp is, but I think I kind of love him. If I recall, we never really find out. Either that or I was just too hypnotized by his outfit to pay attention to who he actually is. I love how both Jaime and the person he is beating up (?) are just so discombobulated by this guy. What's his power? THE POWER OF PIMP MAGIC?

Sleeper Agent Penguins

I read an article comparing Cable and Deadpool that said that Deadpool is a comical character who is at his best when he is being serious, and Cable is a serious character who is at his best when he's being funny. I was initially going to compare Batman to Cable but then realized that Batman is almost never funny. He is, however, at his best when he is helping others. When he helped Booster of his loss (again) of Ted, it was one of the highlights of Booster's series. And here, he has accused Huntress of betraying her friends but Oracle and Canary refuse to believe it. Huntress proves to Batman that she was helping them all along, and you can tell Bruce really really hates eating crow, but he knows that it will make Helena feel good to be complimented, and obliges her. He may look and act scary and intimidating, but deep down he's a good guy. Another heartwarming Batman moment:
















He may sometimes treat them like crap, but he deeply cares about the Bat Family. Batman is almost always stoic, but it's in these little moments where he shines.

And on to lighter topics:















From Blue Beetle, I present the MANCHURIAN PENGUINS! Penguins as sleeper agents=one of the best ideas in comics in recent years, ever.
















Lex is now president of the United States. A piece of Krypton is hurtling towards earth and he orders Superman and Batman to be kidnapped because he's blaming the meteor on them. He sends word that he's captured them, and Nightwing, Robin, Superboy, Huntress, and two other girls I don't know go to capture them.

Anyway, Nightwing, Robin, and Huntress sneak into a room and [I can't remember from the comic, but from this panel it looks like] Lex falls down from the ceiling (with the hilarious sound effect KRAKA-THOOM) to confront them and ask where Superman and Batman are.

I thought Lex was supposed to be the smart one. Obviously everyone thinks Superman and Batman are at the White House, or they wouldn't have come to rescue them. Great plan, Lex. You should just go back to stealing forty cakes.

That's as many as four tens.

And that's terrible.