My Least Favourite Costumes

If you really think about it, superhero costumes are ridiculous. Can you imagine actually WEARING some of that shit, or what it would look like on an actual human being? Yeah. But, some are worse than others. Way worse.

Plastic Man

We'll start of with the worst of the worst, which is Plastic Man's costume. I love that dude. Whenever he shows up, things get fun. Like Wonder Woman, Superman/Batman (where he was pretty heroic) and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. But his costume is horrendous. It's like wearing a speedo all the time. Number 1, that's gotta be uncomfortable. Number 2, PLEASE PLAS, THINK OF THE CHILDREN. And then there's the slit in the front with the tie up. Um, it's doubtful even a GIRL could pull that off, forget a guy. He has some classic douchey white sunglasses too, but I think they fit his personality. I hope to God they never make a live action Plas because I could only watch between the slits in my fingers.

Donna Troy

Donna's outfit looks like she went to a Dazzler concert and tried to emulate her style. What she failed to realize was that no one wants to be like Dazzler. Her sparkly jumpsuit is so disco and dated. And I KNOW she has style, because her Wonder Woman costume made it to the list of my favourite costumes.

Robin

The early Robin costume (worn by Dick Grayson and Jason Todd) is awful. I don't even know what material the shorts are made out of...it looks like alligator skin or something. Did Batman design it? And what was going through his mind when he did so? The pixie boots make him look like an idiot and I'm not really a huge fan of the collar on the cape either. Say what you will about Marvel, but they have NEVER subjected us to as much man leg as DC has.

Iron Fist

Oh, Iron Fist. Where to begin? The gigantic collar, the genie pants, the half mask, the sashes…but the worst is definitely HIS YELLOW FLATS. They’re actually cute shoes…FOR A GIRL. I was thinking about how to change his costume so it was still recognizable but so that it wasn’t as horrifying. My solution is to keep the collar but fill in the low neckline and then put on a full mask. And put on some boots or something, for the love of God. Those shoes are just embarrassing.

I still don't understand his power. Can he just punch really hard? But just with the one fist?

Catman

Hint: do not search Catman on Google images. What you see there will haunt you forever.
I am very fond of Catman and he is my favourite member of the Secret Six. His costume style isn't terrible, if a bit generic. But it seems like a ripoff of both Batman and Catwoman's costumes (fitting, I guess, since he was originally supposed to be a ripoff of Batman). But I could live with that, if the colours weren't so simultaneously horrifying and bland together.

Luke Cage

Ahh, the 70s. Where a man could wear a puffy sleeved yellow shirt and a tiara, and he was still feared by criminals. I'm not altogether fond of his "costume" or whatever now, either. It's a wifebeater and jeans I think, which is okay but it would be nice if there was some way to distinguish him as a member of the Avengers.

Power Girl

If you search for Power Girl on Google, almost all the pictures look SO PORNY.

Yes, this is mainly because of the boob window. I read somewhere that the reason she had it was because she couldn't think of a logo, so she just left it blank. I'm so sure. It's not like the logo just fits in there and doesn't have to be attached to fabric or anything. ANYWAY. The boob window is stupid and I'm not a fan of her boots.

There's something about the colour scheme that I like though. The blue is really nice. And I like the gloves on her too, for some reason. Although I'm not generally a fan of gloves.

Blue Beetle (Dan Garrett)

Dan's costume isn't terrible, but the red on top reminds me of a rooster's comb and I hate chickens, so I have this deep visceral reaction to it. I've had dreams about the chickens forming an army and storming the house.

Mr. Terrific

If he was the third smartest man in the world, he wouldn't think that costume was a good idea.

Look, I don’t even know. He has that bizarre face mask thing JUST LIKE whatshisface from Youngblood. Why would two people think that was a good idea? And his jacket that says stuff like, “Fair play” and has his name on the back, like some kind of weirdo letterman jacket. I wasn’t even aware of his existence until he randomly showed up in Wonder Woman and confused me greatly.

Black Canary

No one's happier than me that you've discovered modesty, Dinah, but GEEZ.
While there are issues with her traditional costume, Dinah makes the list because of her brief costume redesign in the 80s. According to Wikipedia, it has a "bird motif" except I can't see anything bird-like except the fact that it makes me want to vomit like a bird vomiting up worms for its offspring. It's...JUST LOOK AT IT. There are no words.

My Favourite Costumes

Batgirl (Cassandra Cain)

There’s just something about Cass’s costume that I love. I think that first of all, it’s

because it’s not skanktastic. I also like the fact that you can’t see any of her facial features, which adds mystery. The Bat family, as a whole, is mysterious and Cass’s costume reflects that very well. I think more than that, though, it just illustrates who she is. She doesn’t really have a sense of humour, and she’s not really a fun person. She’s dark, she’s gritty, and she gets her shit done, just like the costume.

Batgirl (Stephanie Brown)

Steph’s costume also really illustrates who she is. She’s a pretty fun-loving girl, and her purple costume really reflects that. Her costume is unique among the Bat-costumes in that it isn’t black, but it’s still immediately recognizable AS a Bat costume.

Robin (Tim Drake)

I’m not sure how popular the red and black Robin costume is with fans, but I love it. With the clashing red and green, it’s harder to take

him seriously. In that costume, he’s still the kid that goes, “Holy ________, Batman!” In the red costume, he’s a hero and a leader in his own right.

Black Canary (Chuck Dixon run, Birds of Prey)

During Chuck Dixon’s run on Birds of Prey, Canary got a redesign. I’m not a huge fan of the colours, but I like the streamlined look. She’s ready to fight some thugs in that costume. Her black leather costume is very divisive among women, but I don’t mind it. I recognize that it’s skanky and ill-conceived for fighting, but it’s still pretty mu

ch her trademark. I don’t like the strapless leather leotard,

but I don’t mind the high-necked, sleeveless one. Anyway, the Chuck Dixon costume is still my favourite. It had mysterious detachable pants though, which confused me.

Taskmaster (Gail Simone's run on Deadpool, Agent X)

Taskmaster’s costume was redesigned for Gail Simone’s run on Deadpool. His old costume was more stereotypically villainous, but I like that as he kind of evolved into more of an antihero, his costume evolved with him into kind of an edgy, urban look. He’s still immediately recognizable as Taskmaster, but more accessible and less cartoony.

Blue Beetle (Jaime Reyes)

Legacy characters are difficult because you have to make them recognizable as a legacy, but you also have to make them individuals. Jaime’s costume is a great example of that. The armour is beetle-like, marking him as a Blue Beetle, but it’s still so much different from the previous two costumes. I read somewhere that the patterns on it were based on Mexican wrestlers’ costumes, which was a nice homage to his Mexican heritage.

Nightwing

I like the black and light blue together. It’s such a change from his Robin costume that it’s representative of his metamorphosis into a legitimate superhero. The design on the front also reminds me of the batwings, which I’m not sure is intentional but I kind of like as a throwback to his youth.

Harley Quinn

Harley’s costume is a play on her name, but it still embodies her naïve and child-like nature. I don’t like it in and of itself, but I can’t see her wearing anything else.

Wonder Woman (Donna Troy)

From what little I’ve seen, I like Donna as Wonder Woman and I like her costume. It’s still Wonder Woman-esque, but it’s definitely her own. I also enjoy the

epaulettes.

The Legion of Superpets

Look, I love their little capes, okay?