Marvel actually has quite a few French characters

I read Agent X back before I knew who Batroc was and this apparently made no impression on me because I totally forgot about it. But now that I can appreciate how amazi

ng these panels are...can we speculate on the mother of Batroc's daughter?? She has an accent so the mother is probably French. I'm blanking on any French Marvel characters. Damn.

I also find it strangely sweet that Tasky has respect for Batroc.

ETA: Things I learned from the Marvel wiki: Batroc can apparently lift 500 pounds. He also sometimes leads a group called "Batroc's Brigade." That is awesome.

ETA2: This is my pick for the mother of Batroc's children: Marie-Ange Colbert. My reasons:

-She is French.

-She is described as being good at heart, which Batroc is too.

That's pretty much it. But now that I've made the decision, I will defend it.

That's actually a really good point. Couple of things:

1. I reeeeally hate that Taskmaste costume. It's like some unholy bastard child of Robin Hood, a pirate, and Jack Skellington.

2. What is Tasky doing? Checking out his manicure?

3. I thought Butterball was so interesting and I wished he could have stuck around longer (although I do concede that perhaps superhero boot camp wasn't the best place for him). He would probably have been the Initiative's best asset - he literally cannot be harmed - except his invulnerability doesn't automatically make him a good or strong fighter. Usually if someone is invulnerable they are automatically strong and good fighters but if you really think about it, the two don't necessarily go together.

And now for something completely different:

I originally saved this as "kory no pants" and I assume I was going to talk about how Kory decided to cover up for the meeting with Lobo and ended up covering NOTHING but there is so much more interesting shit happening on the left side of the panel. Lobo. In a bishop's hat. Sitting on a throne. Conversing with a gigantic grasshopper while a talking dolphin floats nearby. There is NOTHING about that scene that is not awesome. NOTHING. I halfway think Grant Morrison (I think this was the part of 52 he wrote) was tripping when he came up with the concept and maybe while he pitched it to DC as well. "No seriously, guys. Lobo has taken a vow of pacifism. He's worshipped by these giant insects and shit, and a space dolphin is his advisor! And like, Kory and Buddy and Adam Strange do some stuff too. Kory is mostly pantsless" and DC was too intimidated by his popularity to argue so they're like, "hey, whatevs. Just as long as it comes out on time." And voila. I was less than interested in the Kory/Buddy/Adam storyline until they met Lobo.

Vic is alive in my mind, along with Barda and Ted and Luke's old wardrobe

Much like a lot of stuff with Lobo, I feel kind of bad for laughing at this, but come on.

Okay, I love the Black Marvel family (at least until SPOILER Isis and Osiris get killed by Sobek the talking crocodile and Adam goes on a bloody rampage). As said before, I'm a sucker for bad people who get redeemed through the power of love. I SHOULD think this proposal is sweet but HOLY CRAP WHAT'S UP WITH HIS SMILE??? I hope it's the artist's intention to make it as damn creepy as possible, because holy crap.

PS: The main reasons I was reading 52 were a) Booster Gold, b) the Black Marvel storyline, and c) The extreme awesomeness of Vic Sage. As of issue 45 or so, Booster only shows up sporadically; two thirds of the Black Marvel family are dead, the third is killing people willy nilly in a bloodlust fuelled rage, and Sobek the talking crocodile - formerly my favourite character - is crazy evil; and Vic is dead! So I've kind of slacked off in reading 52. Not even Lobo as a space-priest with a space dolphin sidekick can keep me reading. Plus there's the fact that at any given moment I have no damn idea what is going on or why everything is related. I had the same problem with Trinity, except the Dreambound, Gangbuster, and Hawkman were sufficiently awesome to keep me reading.

Yes, Canada needs superheroes because YOU KILLED ALPHA FLIGHT OFF PANEL, BENDIS! Dammit.

As a side note, how AWESOME would it be if Luke and Jess relocated to Toronto permanently and fought crime there? Rhetorical question: it would be super awesome. Squirrel Girl could join them as a live in nanny and maybe Iron Fist could branch out his business internationally and move to Toronto. Maybe the Daughters of the Dragon could join them, restart their PI business, taking Jess on as a partner. Best comic ever.

Lobo/Kara...OTP?

I love Lobo's look of complete surprise. ALSO I'm pretty sure making Kara wear the biker gear was a fanservice thing. She started wearing the jacket to hide her identity, but she kept the jacket open pretty much the whole time, and she's not exactly hiding the Superman symbol here, either.

Also, the glasses make her look like John Lennon.

I loved this issue of Spider-Girl SOLELY because May finally got over her stupid crush on resident dbag Franklin Richards.

Is it just me or his chest WAY bigger than it should be?

I'm not going to get into a whole diatribe about what an idiot this guy is, but there are a couple of things I wanted to mention.

1. The homosexuality he is referring to is Felicia Hardy and her girlfriend. Larry makes it seem like it was somehow explicit, but it's really not. It took me forever to even notice that the woman with Felicia was her girlfriend.

2. I do find the reply here to be kind of missing the point. Comparing a same-sex relationship to the relationship you have with your same-sex parent is creepy and also irrelevant. It's not the same thing at all. I do appreciate that they were respectful and gracious in their reply.

3. I find that homosexuality in comic books is portrayed a lot better than in other media. Homosexuality is something that shouldn't stand out - it should just be seen as normal. A lot of other media (TV and movies primarily) make a big deal if they have gay characters, but comic books just have them interacting normally with others and each other.

This seems like a good segue into my Young Avengers story. While reading it, I kept noticing that the letters were always like "Hulkling and Wiccan are gay, right?" and I was always like, "I don't see it..." and then it turned out they were. I recently reread Young Avengers and it's so obvious in hindsight. The moral: my gaydar doesn't work on fictional characters.

She's not a sole survivor...Supes is still alive

So in this issue, Supes and Catwoman go to an auction to get a map they think leads t

o the Batcave. Catwoman gives him a disguise, which is basically "Clark Kent" and then they get found out. So here's my question: Since Clark Kent is a fairly well known reporter, doesn't it completely blow his secret identity to go to the auction as Clark Kent and then reveal that he's Superman? I mean, look at that first panel: THEY ARE LOOKING AT HIS ACTUAL FACE. Why are they not going, "Hey, look, this dude's Superman! Anyone recognize him?"

The Supergirl/Lobo teamup was my favourite of all time, and this moment was so unbelievably sweet. Here's the thing though: it is so so so out of character for Lobo, especially when you consider that in the SAME YEAR (2007) Lobo fought the Titans and he grabbed Supergirl by her face and chucked her practically into orbit. Here's the other thing: I don't really give a crap. I love Lobo without reservation, and I love heartwarming moments. Put the two together, and awesomeness results. Look, I just have a thing for assholes who are secretly nice, all right? It's why I read everything with Guy Gardner in it.

Oh Jaime...I didn't realize how much I missed you until your appearance in Brave and the B

old.

Kara and Lobo need their own series, stat

This dinosaur woman was, no joke, so horny that she couldn't wait half an hour for her bf to come back from outer space. Words cannot describe how amused I am that she kept her babuschka on.

Lobo and Supergirl. THIS IS WONDERFUL. They have a very sweet moment later that I will probably highlight tomorrow.

What the hell are you wearing, Ollie? This is your first date with Dinah in years, and you decide to go full on pirate? Is it not enough to have the stupid beard?

Again with the innuendos, Kevin Smith.

Holy Frageroley

Carnage is a seriously scary supervillain. It's not because he's particularly powerful (Dr. Doom, Apocalypse, and Magneto are all more powerful) but because he is purely psychotic. Ever

y villain has SOME form of honour and play by their own twisted set of rules. CARNAGE HAS NO RULES and this makes him terrifying.

He's even visually intimidating. He's similar to Venom, only Venom could pass as somewhat human if he never opened his mouth. Carnage is humanoid but if someone told you that there was a human in there somewhere (which there actually is, and he is also crazy) you wouldn't believe it.

As a side note, Carnage was created (and presumably designed) by Mark Bagley, only furthering my previous statement that while he can't draw people for crap, he is amazing at drawing people in costumes or non-humans.

I realize that Hulk's "thing" or whatever is his indestructible pants, but if you really think about it, this makes no sense. Those jeans were once whole. When Bruce Banner Hulked out, the pants couldn't take the strain. But they ripped at the thinnest part of the leg. Would they not riparound his waist at the very least? That waistband must be reinforced with titanium.

I read a Marvel/DC crossover where characters from each universe had to fight each other to save their respective universe. Among the combatants were Silver Surfer vs. Kyle Rayner (Surfer won) Robin vs. Jubilee (Robin won) and Aquaman vs. Namor (Aquaman won.) For the most part I agreed with the winners, except for the fight I was most excited about: Wolverine vs. Lobo.

We can all agree that Wolverine is pretty badass. Healing factor, adamantium claws, and bloodlust. Lobo is less well known, so here's a bit about him. He's an alien bounty hunter who destroyed everyone on his planet for fun. He also has a healing factor and can come back to life if even just a drop of his blood exists. He once killed a god AND a devil on an alien planet. He can breathe in outer space. Once he has a goal in mind, he won't stop until it's accomplished.

I thought the fight would be epic.

Here's how the actual fight went down. Wolverine went into Lobo's favourite bar to find him. They start the fight and Wolverine defeats him in three panels OFF PANEL and it seems like Lobo doesn't even fight back.

Wtf?

I guess I would be okay with it if Lobo lost, if the fight was awesome and if he wasn't defeated off panel! Wolverine's hardcore, but LOBO IS INSANE. Maybe Wolverine got the drop on him somehow, but if so, why didn't Lobo's healing factor kick into gear? Lobo single-handedly committed genocide and killed a god. Wolverine can't even defeat SABRETOOTH half the time. NOT TO MENTION that he got punched about a hundred feet by a ten year old girl in Runaways. (Granted, she has super strength, but she's no LOBO.)

Prepare to dock with planet FRAG

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that Mr. Terrific turned into a nice zombie, like the one in Day of the Dead. My sister called that day to tell me that she dreamed about Spider-Man and Batman. Sigh. I have B-list dreams.

A couple things amuse me in these panels. One, Tony's stupefaction in the face of his father's ranting. Two, Howard's crazy eyes. And three, the fact that he calls Iron Man "Mr. Man." This was my favourite issue of Marvel Adventures: Iron Man. Fred van Lente is a genius.

I love this panel. This is my favourite Lobo comic of all time. I think the best part is the Hitman's understatement. He's running away from a gigantic, murderous bounty hunter with a giant chain in his hand. "Oh jeez" is really not the best phrase to use. Another funny part in the comic which I don't think I saved, was when Tommy meets Lobo in a bar. His internal monologue is something like "In fact, having nothing better to do, I read the jerk's mind." Yeah, I do that too. "I'm bored, so I'm going to read random bar patrons' minds."

Initially I saved this because I just thought Tim and Steph were cute together. Then I was wondering why Steph was mad. I stared at this for SO LONG trying to figure it out.

I'm pretty sure they're talking about cosplay.

Bastich

I saved this picture primarily because Gambit's armour is adorable. Well, everyone's is adorable, but I particularly like Gambit's, mostly because of his ins

ane hair. I also like the phrase "No, I used my English reading powers..." I'm still not totally sure who that is standing with Gambit and Cyclops. I'm thinking Rogue because she would likely be with Gambit and because of the white stripe on her head. I wish I knew definitively.

I'm not a huge fan of the Hulk. I think he's boring and all he does is go "GRR HULK SMASH" and hit things. Anything I've read with him in it doesn't bother to explore the Bruce Banner/Hulk dichotomy, they just have him and his indestructible pants wreak havoc. But what I've learned mostly from his appearance in Marvel Adventures: Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk, he's very amusingly snarky. He comes off as hilariously misanthropic and as you can see here, a master of the understatement. I would read a comic solely based around Bruce, but not the Hulk.

This guy is tied with Condiment King as having my favourite power ever. His name is the Defenestrator and apparently his power is carrying around windows and smashing them over people's heads. There are so many questions: How did he come up with this gimmick? Where does he get the windows? How does he carry them? But it's Lobo, so I'll assume that the hows and whys are not important; you're just supposed to bask in the insanity.

This is a legitimately cute outfit for Karen, and look at that, IT COVERS HER BOOBS

. I love her boots.

On the one hand, I love dogs and this makes me sad. But on the other THERE IS A GUY WHOSE SOLE POWER IS WELDING DOGS TO PEOPLE. "Who the hell welded this fraggin' dog to my butt?" will never not be hil

arious.

Nick Fury always looks awesome. Doesn't matter who's drawing him.

Will you ride on my magic clamshell?

Cass does not question things.

I very much enjoy the phrase "*&^$( magic clamshell!" Because really, there's no way to make that NOT sound ridiculous.

I really liked the art in this Lobo mini. It's VERY reminiscent of Quentin Blake's work on the Roald Dahl books and I think really captures the horror/comedy of anything starring Lobo.

Tim has always been my favourite Robin. I never thought I would like Damian. From what I could gather, he seemed to be kind of a psycho. But then I read Steph's Batgirl series, and I LOVE him. He IS a psycho, but somehow that just makes him funnier. The above image cemented my affection for him. Steph is talking to a guy she likes, then he mentions the Omen fanboy watching her. Cut to this panel, which is so over the top evil, it's hysterical. Damian and Steph's interaction is like a bickering brother and sister, which I love. Coupled with Tim's dismal appearance in the series (he was so SRS BSNS GRRRRR), and I might have a new favourite Robin.

Counterparts

I've noticed that DC and Marvel tend to have counterparts of each other. The characters may not be exactly the same, but they fulfill the same role. In the next few days, I'm going to compare some and declare who is better.

Lobo/Punisher
They both fulfill the role of: The Ultra Violent Scary Man
Similarities:
-Look out for themselves
-One of the most feared men in their respective universes
-Brawny
-Ruthless and violent

Punisher is the stricter definition of the word “badass.” Everyone is scared of this dude. Everyone. Even dudes with healing factors. When he shows up, the comic gets serious. He is also human, which makes him more badass. From what I’ve read, he’s gone up against Alex Hayden, Outlaw, Deadpool (?) and the Runaways. He is probably the most serious Marvel character. Lobo, on the other hand, is supposed to be a caricature of the 90ss antihero, while Punisher is an unironic dark antihero. Lobo is so over the top he becomes cartoonish. He refers to himself in the third person as “the main man” which I love. He also has crazy red eyes and facial hair. I prefer him because I find him to be funnier. His appearance in Blue Beetle made that issue one of my favourites.
Winner: Lobo for DC.

Barda/She-Hulk
They both fulfill the role of: The Fun Female Bruiser
Similarities:
-Very tall
-Very strong
-Fun at parties

Barda is a female Fury from Apokalips who escaped, married Mister Miracle, and attempts to live a normal life. She is easily one of the strongest and bravest members of the JLA. Whenever she appears in a comic, it is awesome. No exceptions. She was the best part of the revamped Birds of Prey. She-Hulk is also cool. I can’t say that whenever she appears it is awesome, but that’s only because I’ve read way more She-Hulk than I have Barda. She-Hulk is interesting because she was changed so drastically (as a result of a blood transfusion from Bruce Banner) but it actually made her life better. She would be slightly more fun than Barda at a party. I have to give it to Barda for a few reasons. One, her relationship with Scott is the best relationship in comics. Two, I recently read a comic in which She-Hulk kinda sorta regretted not fucking her cousin the Hulk (slightly makes sense in context…but also not). Three, She-Hulk is overly angst-y sometimes whereas Barda never is.
Winner: Barda for DC.

Guy Gardner/Wolverine
Both fulfill the role of: The Short-Tempered Brawler
Similarities:
-Short-tempered (obviously)
-Confrontational
-Strategy is not a strong suit

Guy is my favourite Green Lantern. He fucking loves being a superhero, and that’s really refreshing. His relationship with Ice is also very, very sweet. However, he loses points for the worst haircut in comics. He’s up against Wolverine though, so that’s not saying much. I like Guy because he also shows his softer side every so often (with Jaime Reyes and Ice). I can’t say anything about Wolverine that hasn't already been said, except that I have never really liked him as much as everyone else seems to. However, he’s always funny when he shows up in other comics because he’s so grumpy. His confrontation with Molly in Runaways and the time he explained the fastball special to She-Hulk were both hilarious. Both have really good voice actors (on Batman: The Brave and the Bold and Wolverine and the X-Men). I’m giving this to Guy though. One, his relationship with Ice, as I said, is very sweet. Two, he was never not awesome in Blue Beetle. Three, ONE PUNCH.
Winner: Guy Gardner for DC.

Krypto the Superdog/Monkey Joe the squirrel
They both fulfill the role of: The Pet
Similarities:
-They are not human.

Krypto has a little cape and he was drawn beautifully by Francis Manapul. Also, he lifted a car with his teeth. HOWEVER, Monkey Joe fought Doctor Doom and won and was eventually killed by a leather fetishist Doom impersonator. I think we all know who has to take the prize.
Winner: Monkey Joe for Marvel.

Today was clearly a DC win, with only the victory of Squirrel Girl’s Monkey Joe keeping this from being a complete landslide. Tune in at a later date when we compare:
Deathstroke/Deadpool
Green Arrow/Hawkeye
Lois Lane/MJ Watson
Wonder Twins/Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver