All Batman, all the time

Poor Cap doesn't know how to deal with Batman...the goddamn Batman doesn't take orders from anyone, even though he agreed Cap should be the leader of the two teams.

I'm guessing Oracle might be the only person who can successfully intimidate Batman, and this guy's gone up against Darkseid. On a related note, this art is HORRENDOUS.

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIS FACE??

He's watching someone who may or may not be Cass killing a man. Now, we can all agree that murder is bad, but I still don't know why this surprised him so much. Cass was raised to be an assassin BY an assassin. Bats is dreaming if he thinks she didn't get some practical education in.

I'm pretty sure that every Christmas Alfred goes out and buys a whole bunch of Batman merchandise and gives it to the bat family as gifts.

You can't really see it in these panels, so I'll explain. Plas is trying to get his ex's kid out of a gang, and then it's gradually revealed that it's his son. Plas knew it all along but freaked out and left. Bats says, "Of all of us, even Clark, I always thought you would make the best father." Plas denies this and starts talking in a self-deprecating manner. Bats then replies, "Because I thought you would be the kind of father who would show his children that he loved them, instead of just telling them. I thought you would make them laugh all of the time."

All together now: "Awwwww." I'm not a huge Batman fan (I know, I know: SACRILEGE) but my favourite aspect of his personality is that he always believes in the least-respected members of the JLA, even when they don't believe in themselves. First it's Booster Gold, then it's Plas.

That could take poke out an eye

Red Hood has kidnapped Dick and Damian and posted online that if he had enough votes, a live webcam feed of those two naked would go up.

1. I'm pretty sure that everyone in the DCU wants to see Dick naked.

2. Damian is 10 years old. That shit is MESSED. UP.

Ollie and Clint are so much alike that it's so hilarious when they interact. What happens when two overly cocky archers come together? AWESOMEN

ESS.

I just noticed right now that Clint is JACKED. Ollie needs to work out more.

Frank Miller...boobs don't work that way.

The Lukey or the tiger?

Don't ever tell me Luke Cage isn't the most awesome hero of all time: HE PUNCHED

A TIGER IN THE NECK. The confused "ROWR?" is just the icing on the cake.

And here, in a nutshell, is why I love Joe Kelly as a writer: Plastic Man as Flash being crushed by his long lost son who has taken the shape of a giant dinosaur. The sound effect, coupled with the giant dinosaur rear end and just the boots showing is the best. That panel could not be more perfect.

There's so much about this that I love. Zatanna's no doubt hilarious story, Ollie and Clint's battle of the trick arrows (seen over Zatanna's head in panel 1), Shulkie cheering on arm wrestlers, and perhaps most of all, Guy being yelled for his dirty thoughts by Moondragon, who is probably stronger than he is, even with his power ring.

Scariest Baby of Life

So...is it my imagination, or was there a premature ejaculation joke in a comic

book aimed at preteens?

In the words of my brother: "Of COURSE Plas makes a costume joke!"

But seriously...Galactus=WORST OUTFIT EVER, y/y? I'm including Canary's John Byrne redesign in this contest. You know it's bad when PLASTIC MAN, who probably has one of the worst costumes of life, can make fun of you and no one bats an eye.

...let's just say there's a reason that Joe Quesada is not a full time artist.

Daredevil is also really boring

Is it weird that I'm proud that in Y- The Last Man, the new leader of the Yakuza is a pop star from Saskatoon?

In all seriousness, Y-The Last Man is ridiculously good. It's about a plague that killed off all the males in the world except for one, and he teams up with a doctor and a secret agent to find a way to make clones to repopulate the planet. I powered through 60 issues in three days. I highly recommend it to everyone.

The only thing is, Brian K Vaughan ends every issue with either a huge revelation or a cliffhanger so you have to keep reading. At one point he started doing little 3 issue arcs, so I thought at least I could escape at the conclusion of a story arc. Turns out that no, I couldn't. Don't start reading the series unless you have about an hour to kill. Here's a text convo I had with my brother about it:

Me: The only bad thing is that Vaughan ends every issue on a cliffhanger. I want to eat but I...I can't.

Jonas: And you never will.

In Greek mythology, one of Hercules' tasks was to get the girdle of Hippolyta. I believe he seduced her to obtain it. This is why Wondy is calling Herc the despoiler of Hippolyta (who is also her mother.)

I like that they had this little interaction here, because it absolutely makes sense that Wonder Woman goes balls to the wall to take out Hercules. The Marvel Hercules is more portrayed as kind of a lovable buffoon and in flashbacks to his time with Hippolyta, he is portrayed as thinking of her fondly and not simply using her to get the girdle. The DC Hercules is a dickish rapist asshole that Wonder Woman hates. Poor Herc, getting punched in the face for something that the DC Hercules did.

"Thank God I threw the baby off the roof so that Natasha would be forced to take custody of it for its own safety!"

Since we're on the subject of Kevin Smith, I want to talk about his writing style. I've read three story arcs by him: Quiver (Green Arrow), Guardian Devil (Daredevil), and Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do. His stories have a tendency to start our pretty normal and then go OFF THE DAMN RAILS.

Quiver starts out as a mystery of sorts. Ollie comes back from the dead with the personality he had a decade ago and no one knows why. Then BAM there's all this stuff about fake gay Satanist rapists, demon pets, Hal having god-like powers, and a Heaven where all the heroes wear their costumes all the time. Guardian Devil was insane pretty much immediately, with a baby who might be either the Antichrist or Jesus but then gets MORE crazy when it's revealed that Mysterio orchestrated the whole lie about the Messiah/Antichrist solely to get Daredevil to go insane. The Evil That Men Do isn't so much insane as really uncomfortable. Spider-Man and Black Cat team up to find some heroin dealer and then it turns out that the dealer has the worst power of all time (he can teleport small amounts of liquid) and then there are back to back detailed rape narratives. I've also read a smaller story arc also featuring Green Arrow which wasn't insane but did feature a LOT of oral sex puns. At the very least, every story arc will have a "HOLY CRAP WHAT JUST HAPPENED" moment. Which I always enjoy.

Holy Frageroley

Carnage is a seriously scary supervillain. It's not because he's particularly powerful (Dr. Doom, Apocalypse, and Magneto are all more powerful) but because he is purely psychotic. Ever

y villain has SOME form of honour and play by their own twisted set of rules. CARNAGE HAS NO RULES and this makes him terrifying.

He's even visually intimidating. He's similar to Venom, only Venom could pass as somewhat human if he never opened his mouth. Carnage is humanoid but if someone told you that there was a human in there somewhere (which there actually is, and he is also crazy) you wouldn't believe it.

As a side note, Carnage was created (and presumably designed) by Mark Bagley, only furthering my previous statement that while he can't draw people for crap, he is amazing at drawing people in costumes or non-humans.

I realize that Hulk's "thing" or whatever is his indestructible pants, but if you really think about it, this makes no sense. Those jeans were once whole. When Bruce Banner Hulked out, the pants couldn't take the strain. But they ripped at the thinnest part of the leg. Would they not riparound his waist at the very least? That waistband must be reinforced with titanium.

I read a Marvel/DC crossover where characters from each universe had to fight each other to save their respective universe. Among the combatants were Silver Surfer vs. Kyle Rayner (Surfer won) Robin vs. Jubilee (Robin won) and Aquaman vs. Namor (Aquaman won.) For the most part I agreed with the winners, except for the fight I was most excited about: Wolverine vs. Lobo.

We can all agree that Wolverine is pretty badass. Healing factor, adamantium claws, and bloodlust. Lobo is less well known, so here's a bit about him. He's an alien bounty hunter who destroyed everyone on his planet for fun. He also has a healing factor and can come back to life if even just a drop of his blood exists. He once killed a god AND a devil on an alien planet. He can breathe in outer space. Once he has a goal in mind, he won't stop until it's accomplished.

I thought the fight would be epic.

Here's how the actual fight went down. Wolverine went into Lobo's favourite bar to find him. They start the fight and Wolverine defeats him in three panels OFF PANEL and it seems like Lobo doesn't even fight back.

Wtf?

I guess I would be okay with it if Lobo lost, if the fight was awesome and if he wasn't defeated off panel! Wolverine's hardcore, but LOBO IS INSANE. Maybe Wolverine got the drop on him somehow, but if so, why didn't Lobo's healing factor kick into gear? Lobo single-handedly committed genocide and killed a god. Wolverine can't even defeat SABRETOOTH half the time. NOT TO MENTION that he got punched about a hundred feet by a ten year old girl in Runaways. (Granted, she has super strength, but she's no LOBO.)

Batroc ze Lepair!

BATROC AND BATMAN! THEIR INTERACTION IS GLORIOUS!

I went on a Marvel/DC crossover reading binge. One of these days I have to post

who I would ship if they existed in the same universe all the time. Shulkie/Aquaman is but one of those ships.

I can't remember this plotline WHATSOEVER, but "Terry the robot" cracks me up EVERY time.

I love their formalwear here. VERY RARELY are women allowed to be non-slutty in comic books. Barda and Huntress both look so classy and pretty here. Nicola Scott should just draw everything, all the time.

Aquaman Gets No Love

For the love of all that is holy, Kevin Smith, please stop with the oral sex jokes. I already had to suffer through "Maybe it's time to visit Sherwood" (which yes, it means exactly what you think it means) in probably the most uncomfortable story arc I've ever read. (Actually that honour might go to Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do...or Quiver...so basically anything Kevin Smith writes.)

Although honestly, I guess we already know that Ollie's a fan of the puns. So at least it's in character.

Look at that! I've always felt that Aquaman is undeserving of the scorn he usually gets. HE SUMMONED SOME KIND OF DRAGON BEAST THING FROM THE SAVAGE LAND! Who says he's useless?

Also, he defeated Namor by dropping a killer whale on his head

.

Speaking of Aquaman, I now ship these two.