Pink pants

I get that Shulkie's supposed to be sassy and sexy, but that doesn't seem to be the best outfit of choice to argue in court.

Not to mention, that's a lot of boobage for a prestigious job like She-Hulk's.

I love Parademon. He's so perceptive. I'm sad he's only in the first mini. Now that I think about it, I love anyone and anything out of Apokalips. I love Barda, I love Mr. Miracle, I love Parademon, and I'm fond of all the Furies (especially Granny Goodness). I even enjoy reading about Darkseid.

Spider-Girl

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Let's look at some Spider-Girl today.

You have to be really goddamn serious about your villainy to get a giant spider tattooed on your stomach and the word "REVENGE" tattooed across your chest. It's kind of funny now that Normie is friends with May. I bet every time he takes off his shirt, he's like, "Shit. Why the eff did I decide to do that? FUCK YOU, DAD."

I love Mayday to death, but this panel pisses me off. BOO HOO MAYDAY, TWO GUYS ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU. YOUR LIFE SUCKS SO BAD.

"My uncle Ben died because I didn't act when I had the chance...also, am I hallucinating, or is there a giant ass goose over there?" What is this, Mark Trail?

Batroc ze Lepair!

BATROC AND BATMAN! THEIR INTERACTION IS GLORIOUS!

I went on a Marvel/DC crossover reading binge. One of these days I have to post

who I would ship if they existed in the same universe all the time. Shulkie/Aquaman is but one of those ships.

I can't remember this plotline WHATSOEVER, but "Terry the robot" cracks me up EVERY time.

I love their formalwear here. VERY RARELY are women allowed to be non-slutty in comic books. Barda and Huntress both look so classy and pretty here. Nicola Scott should just draw everything, all the time.

The Return of Dr. Breasty Betty: The Reckoning

Yes, it's time to visit our good friend, Dr. Boobsy Betty.















No clue why Betty is holding up the bottom of her skanktastic AIM outfit. If she lets it down, it won't even be near the swamp water.

Is Headpool sitting on Deadpool's head?

Betty's leaning to the right there because her enormous boob to tiny waist ratio is a little off.















How has she not had a nipslip yet? (Other than the fact that she's not real). Her boobs are enormous. I just can't handle it. Here's something to help you handle it, however:



































Oh Nick Fury, you are as soothing to the soul as a milkshake on a hot day.

But I might be acting unfair towards Dr. Busty Betty. Here's something featuring her that I actually quite like:















So pleasantly romantic! So pleasantly colourful! So pleasantly lacking in a scary bustline! My favourite part is Headpool's distress.

MUSCLESSSSSSSS

For some reason, I just love Taskmaster. I was first exposed to him in early Deadpool, when he was defeated because Deadpool started dancing. He was a pretty goofy villain then, but he has somewhat evolved into an antihero in later writing (with Gail Simone's writing on Deadpool and Agent X). I like his dynamic with Deadpool: they're both amoral mercenaries, but Tasky does it with style and sophistication, whereas Deadpool is just a moron. Tasky doesn't particularly like Deadpool, but he still helps him out on occasion for unknown reasons.

And holy fucking shit, look how buff he is. I like his other design better, with the hoodie, but he just looks so COOL here. Even with the weird t-shirt and cape/hood thingie. And speaking of buff:














WOW. That is not physically possible. His arms are probably wider than my waist. Here's another ponytail wearer that I forgot. I'm a little weirded out by that vein thing on his arm. And speaking of things that aren't physically possible...
















Those boobs must be made of stone. They're like, what, double H? And they are apparently immovable.

Why AREN'T there two Condiment Kings?

The only way all my wishes would come true is if there were two Condiment Kings, but there aren't, are there, Booster?

















You have got to be kidding me. There is more than one show of ass crack in the comic pages? And they occur across the DC and Marvel universes? Give me a break.















And with this one image, a hundred Beetle hentai fetishes were launched.

All R'as, All The Time, Apparently

"Set the lady on her feet, Ubu...so I can model this lovely emerald green cape for her!"















"What do you mean, where's her face? The most important part is on display, is it not?"















"But I can't go with you, Mel! They've stolen me Lucky Charms!"

Friggin' Sweet

Historically, girls get the short end of the stick in comics. There's the costumes, which I covered before. Then there's the whole "women in refrigerators" thing. Then there's the fact that they never do anything cool, ever. But every so often, you find some really cool women in comics.


















Look at this woman from Birds of Prey whose name I can't remember right now. This is one of the most awesome panels I've seen in my life. She's wearing this Stormtrooper-esque armour with a BIG ASS GUN. After their train was detoured to some place that might be Hell, she is one of the only people to stay calm and do what needs to be done. She's all, "take cover, gentlemen. This is THE big gun." Love her.















I like the fact that after becoming a cripple, the artists resisted making Barbara into an ugly shell of her former self. It must be hard writing a crippled character who is hardly seen outside that one room, but the former Batgirl has an actual personality and does actual stuff (like swimming, working out, and going on dates with a surprisingly buff Dick Grayson). You can't deny it: Oracle's pretty badass. She took out a bunch of dudes single-handedly while in a wheelchair, and she's probably the best hacker in the DCU. And look how pretty she is here! Love it.

















HOLY GOD THERE IS A FEMALE DEADPOOL AND SHE IS WAY MORE AWESOME THAN I WOULD HAVE EXPECTED LIEFELD CAPABLE OF DRAWING! Look how amazing she is! She's so funny. Her boobs look a little wonked up, but I will ignore that because she is hilarious. I need more of her, STAT.
















I really loved Dom's design in Cable and Deadpool. Putting aside the fact that spot on her eye makes her resemble Petey from Our Gang, I loved her haircut and her badass black outfit. She also got a lot more character development than the other side characters of Cable/Deadpool when she had various moral dilemmas. She's pretty awesome.














Blind Al is possibly my favourite female character EVER. She has crazy ass hair and awesome wardrobe, and is one of the only people who can match wits with Deadpool. She's a cantankerous old lady who is forced to live with Deadpool and actually got him to APOLOGIZE to her. That's pretty difficult when the person you're dealing with has no conscience.

I also deeply, deeply appreciate the fact that they make t-shirts specifically for blind people.

Female Superheroes/Villains

So we've seen what happens when civilian women are depicted in the comics. What about when they're given costumes?














Diamondback's (the one in the middle, and the only one I can remember because she has diamonds incorporated into her outfit) costume is perfectly passable. Maybe not that discreet for a thief, and her hair kind of pushes this into anime territory, but at least her boobs aren't hanging out like Dr. Betty's. Speaking of Diamondback's boobs, what in the world is going on with them? She looks like she hardcore bound them to her body like Carrie Fisher in Star Wars. They're like super flat and two different sizes. They're really weirding me out.

Now I know that costumes are chosen purely for the aesthetic value, but when you really think about it, how convenient would Asp's costume be? It's a tight dress with really high slits and I think her thong is hanging out. How could you do anything in that? She's a thief and an adventurer. By necessity, she's running and jumping and fighting and such. Would a dress like that really be the best choice?

All I can think of when I look at Black Mamba's leotard thing is how much that zipper must be
chafing on her chest. Ouch.
















Here's a question not often addressed in the comics: what happens when you're a girl and you want to wear a ponytail while engaged in crime-fighting? Well, you do what Lady Deadpool did and cut a hole in the back of your mask, of course.

















Ms. Marvel's costume is perfectly serviceable. It's a standard black leotard with black gloves and over the knee boots. What I don't understand here is the logic behind that sash. It looks haphazardly tied on, like Ms. Marvel was getting ready and was like, "This costume is too black. I need COLOUR" and then she just grabbed the first thing she saw lying around and tied it around her waist.

The more I look at her the more that stupid sash is bothering me. A lot. It's possible I'll dream about it tonight. Does she take it off at mealtimes and use it as a napkin? Does she make an impromptu lasso out of it? Does she use it to tie up criminals? I guess I'll never know.
















Full disclosure: I cannot STAND Typhoid Mary. Yes, you're supposed to hate the villains, but I despise her with a vitriol that surprises even me. Plus, whenever I think about her I call her "Bloody Mary" in my mind and then I have to correct myself, which gets a little irritating. She's really annoying, and it was her fault Deadpool went psycho and hurt Blind Al and it was indirectly her fault that Weasel left for a really long time, leading to a period in Deadpool where it was a chore to read. Seriously, it got as bad as Priest's writing, and reading one of his runs was enough for me.

But let's pretend I don't hate her, and let's pretend that I'm objective. What in the world is this outfit? We've got fishnets that I imagine she would be pulling up every five seconds. We've got a belly shirt with humongous spiked epaulets. Don't those make her too top heavy to function? Her boobs and shoulders make her waist look way too tiny to be normal. And the thong or whatever she is wearing! Is it just me, or does it look like she's hiding a penis under there? It wouldn't surprise me if her gender confusion (along with her schizophrenia) is what is causing her to be a bitch all the time. I would have liked to be around when she was designing her outfit. "Yeah, I want it to be a leather belly shirt with HUGE spiked epaulets...you know, like old school band uniforms, but MORE HARDCORE. Also some fishnets." "Well, what about on the bottom?" "Well, what would look more attractive than a leather thong?"