The Return of Dr. Breasty Betty: The Reckoning

Yes, it's time to visit our good friend, Dr. Boobsy Betty.















No clue why Betty is holding up the bottom of her skanktastic AIM outfit. If she lets it down, it won't even be near the swamp water.

Is Headpool sitting on Deadpool's head?

Betty's leaning to the right there because her enormous boob to tiny waist ratio is a little off.















How has she not had a nipslip yet? (Other than the fact that she's not real). Her boobs are enormous. I just can't handle it. Here's something to help you handle it, however:



































Oh Nick Fury, you are as soothing to the soul as a milkshake on a hot day.

But I might be acting unfair towards Dr. Busty Betty. Here's something featuring her that I actually quite like:















So pleasantly romantic! So pleasantly colourful! So pleasantly lacking in a scary bustline! My favourite part is Headpool's distress.

HA HA HA HA HA HA

I guess Betty's huge bazoongas actually have a purpose: for padding when she gets tired trudging through the swamps of the Savage Land!

Good thing Betty's facedown here, because I think she would have the same problem as my friend Lisa: namely, when she sleeps without a bra her boobs try to smother her.














This guy looks exactly how I would imagine that one dude with sunglasses from a Goofy Movie would look like if he was human. Just imagine that bottle of whiskey is a can of spray cheese.













Likewise, every time I see this I imagine Batman sounding like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BU8-e-C4Uy0

Ha ha ha ha ha ha HA!

The Many States of Undress of Dr. Betty

You know what we need more of in the comics?





























Ass crack and underboob.
















Look, I don't care so much about the scantily clad women when I read the comics. It's embarrassing to read if I'm around others, but I can ignore it. But is it too much to ask that I not have to look at Dr. Betty's erect nipple when I'm trying to read about zombiefied heads and such?
















When I saved this picture to my computer, I named it "bettynipslip" and while her nipple is not showing, there's NO WAY it wouldn't be here. I didn't know AIM made such revealing suits for their employees.

Don't her boobs get in the way when she's trying to do delicate scientific procedures?

















Betty's shorts are rapidly on their way to becoming a thong. In later panels they miraculously return to their normal length, once the awesomely named Bong Dazo is done lovingly outlining her ass in a shot probably specifically designed to look up her shorts.

I wasn't going to use all my Betty pictures in one post, but we may as well go all the way, as I've already felt I've gone all the way with Betty. After all, I've seen most of her body by now.














This improvised HYDRA outfit is confusing me, as I'm almost positive that they don't employ women, and so wouldn't have any female outfits on hand. So I can only conclude that Betty looked at the whole HYDRA outfit and decided to just eschew the pants for whatever reason. She's like the Lady Gaga of comics. This choice is especially puzzling when you consider that she's spent most of the comic so far shunning the advances of both Deadpool and Headpool, and then she decides to dress like a skank anyway.

The writing itself of Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth is pretty good, and Dr. Betty's skankitude is especially maddening as she's a pretty strong female character. She's a scientist, she works for a well-known terrorist organization, she's pretty snarky, and she was alone in the Savage Land with just like, mosquito netting for protection. But all that takes a backseat to BOOBIES. I only have four issues on hand, but there are A WHOLE LOT MORE Betty pictures where these came from. It's all Betty prancing around in the jungle with her shirt straining at her enormous boobs and Betty's shorts getting a lot shorter and Betty's nipples and Betty's fanservice-y HYDRA and then AIM outfits, and ARGH it just gets irritating. But I guess I can't say that Marvel doesn't do anything for its female readers:















Thanks Bong Dazo! How did you KNOW I wanted to look at Deadpool's scabby ass? Thank GOD his pouches (somehow, are those things made of titanium?) survived the explosion he was in!

Well, I know I need a mental cleansing after all that.




















Oh Nick Fury, how do I love you? Let me count the ways.

Boobs Don't Work That Way

Let's take a look at Dr. Betty here, from Deadpool: Merc With a Mouth, issue 1. The more I look at this, the more freakish it is. THAT'S NOT NORMAL. First of all, she's a scientist. I doubt she would be wearing a belly shirt open to her belly button to reveal a nice lacy bra. In retrospect, I'm not even sure that's a bra. They look like doily pasties or something. Very convenient when you're in the Savage Land. But whatever. Comics are primarily written and drawn by males, for males, so as a female reading them, I have to give them some concessions. But even going beyond that, I can't stop staring at her boobs. Look at that. That's like a KK cup, easy. I don't think her arms can even rest comfortably at her sides. I imagine her waddling around with her arms held out from her sides. That is the most inconvenient pair of boobs I have ever seen in my life. How does she function with honkers of that magnitude? Recently, I watched a documentary on women with very large boobs, and there was a girl with KK boobs. Those suckers weighed NINE POUNDS together. With the amount of running and physical activity Dr. Betty does later in the comic, there's no way she wouldn't suffer some kind of trauma to her back. My chest is starting to hurt just looking at her.

Also, I'm not sure if that hand on the right is hers, or some Neanderthal from the Savage Land copping a feel.





















Might as well get all the WTF boob pictures out of the way in one post. Just ignore the image on the left, although the more I look at it the more frightening it is. It's from the Dark Knight Returns. We're focusing on the picture of Bruno on the right, from All-Star Batman and Robin, because that's the comic I've read.

I don't know what to say. I can't remember exactly what my reaction to seeing this picture was, probably because I blacked out from confusion. I'm not sure if Bruno here is an original Batman character, or if she was a creation of Frank Miller (which wouldn't surprise me, honestly). I would love to know who said, "You know what? Joker needs a henchman." Someone was probably like, "Oh yeah, that's cool. Were you thinking like a big brawny dude with a cool uniform?" "NO! We need more female Aryans in the comics...and give her big boobs of course. AND PASTIES! NO! SWASTIKA PASTIES! OH MAN, I CAN SEE IT IN MY HEAD AND IT'S SO AWESOME!"