Party at the Frees

Guys. Mr. Miracle's solo series is AMAZING. Admittedly, I only really like it when Barda's there, but she's in almost every issue so the point is moot. Vol. 1, written by Jack Kirby is great of course, but the nice thing about Mr. Miracle is that as far as I can tell (I haven't read much beyond the Kirby run) is that it retains the original characterization and quality. Take this issue by Doug Moench, in which Barda throws a party, which is as awesome as it sounds:

Things I love about this: 1) J'onn's civvies. 2) Ted uses his millions to buy designer lampshades for the purpose of partying. 3) Kil is confused about party lingo (and who is he talking to?). 4) Is Oberon hitting on Fire? That's the most random pairing I've seen since I read a JSA comic with Wildcat and Catwoman and started shipping them.

I'm not totally sure why, but Kilowog and Ted on the right there crack me up EVERY time. I think it's because everyone else is having a laid back evening chatting about stuff, while Ted just desperately wants to be at a rowdy party. Also, J'onn surrounded by women reminds me of the part in Formerly Known As the Justice League where Batman jokes that "Martian pheromones. The women go absolutely wild."

It's not a party until two feral Mr. Miracles with a hate-on for the JLA show up.

The party parts are amazing enough, but we're not even getting into the actual plot, which involves an Albanian noodle monster (EXACTLY what it sounds like) turning Mr. Miracle and his protege/mentee/not sure, Shilo, into feral monsters. Barda turns Scott back into himself by threatening to divorce him, but this still leaves the matter of the noodle monster. Guy, Ice, and Fire take care of him by, well...

For some reason "I should be al dente!" makes me laugh so hard. I'm not sure which my favourite villain solution is: this, or when Deadpool defeated Tasky by dancing.

Oh, and:

Next time I go to the Dance Cave, I'm going to do this move while shouting "Now you're doing the Blue Beetle Bump!" Trust me, that's not going to be the weirdest thing that ever happened at the Dance Cave.

I've never really looked at the background in any depth, but now that I have there are some things I like. Kilowog is apparently slow dancing with Mama Mound while everyone is dancing to what seems to be an upbeat song, that guy who I'm assuming is a New God over to the left, J'onn dancing by himself, and Guy making a platform appear for no other reason than that he probably just wants to be above everyone else, because that's the kind of amusing jerk that he is.

I've played piano for close to 15 years, and I have never seen that music symbol in the middle there that looks like it's a Chinese symbol. I'm going to assume that's some kind of Apokalips musical notation.

Counterparts

I've noticed that DC and Marvel tend to have counterparts of each other. The characters may not be exactly the same, but they fulfill the same role. In the next few days, I'm going to compare some and declare who is better.

Lobo/Punisher
They both fulfill the role of: The Ultra Violent Scary Man
Similarities:
-Look out for themselves
-One of the most feared men in their respective universes
-Brawny
-Ruthless and violent

Punisher is the stricter definition of the word “badass.” Everyone is scared of this dude. Everyone. Even dudes with healing factors. When he shows up, the comic gets serious. He is also human, which makes him more badass. From what I’ve read, he’s gone up against Alex Hayden, Outlaw, Deadpool (?) and the Runaways. He is probably the most serious Marvel character. Lobo, on the other hand, is supposed to be a caricature of the 90ss antihero, while Punisher is an unironic dark antihero. Lobo is so over the top he becomes cartoonish. He refers to himself in the third person as “the main man” which I love. He also has crazy red eyes and facial hair. I prefer him because I find him to be funnier. His appearance in Blue Beetle made that issue one of my favourites.
Winner: Lobo for DC.

Barda/She-Hulk
They both fulfill the role of: The Fun Female Bruiser
Similarities:
-Very tall
-Very strong
-Fun at parties

Barda is a female Fury from Apokalips who escaped, married Mister Miracle, and attempts to live a normal life. She is easily one of the strongest and bravest members of the JLA. Whenever she appears in a comic, it is awesome. No exceptions. She was the best part of the revamped Birds of Prey. She-Hulk is also cool. I can’t say that whenever she appears it is awesome, but that’s only because I’ve read way more She-Hulk than I have Barda. She-Hulk is interesting because she was changed so drastically (as a result of a blood transfusion from Bruce Banner) but it actually made her life better. She would be slightly more fun than Barda at a party. I have to give it to Barda for a few reasons. One, her relationship with Scott is the best relationship in comics. Two, I recently read a comic in which She-Hulk kinda sorta regretted not fucking her cousin the Hulk (slightly makes sense in context…but also not). Three, She-Hulk is overly angst-y sometimes whereas Barda never is.
Winner: Barda for DC.

Guy Gardner/Wolverine
Both fulfill the role of: The Short-Tempered Brawler
Similarities:
-Short-tempered (obviously)
-Confrontational
-Strategy is not a strong suit

Guy is my favourite Green Lantern. He fucking loves being a superhero, and that’s really refreshing. His relationship with Ice is also very, very sweet. However, he loses points for the worst haircut in comics. He’s up against Wolverine though, so that’s not saying much. I like Guy because he also shows his softer side every so often (with Jaime Reyes and Ice). I can’t say anything about Wolverine that hasn't already been said, except that I have never really liked him as much as everyone else seems to. However, he’s always funny when he shows up in other comics because he’s so grumpy. His confrontation with Molly in Runaways and the time he explained the fastball special to She-Hulk were both hilarious. Both have really good voice actors (on Batman: The Brave and the Bold and Wolverine and the X-Men). I’m giving this to Guy though. One, his relationship with Ice, as I said, is very sweet. Two, he was never not awesome in Blue Beetle. Three, ONE PUNCH.
Winner: Guy Gardner for DC.

Krypto the Superdog/Monkey Joe the squirrel
They both fulfill the role of: The Pet
Similarities:
-They are not human.

Krypto has a little cape and he was drawn beautifully by Francis Manapul. Also, he lifted a car with his teeth. HOWEVER, Monkey Joe fought Doctor Doom and won and was eventually killed by a leather fetishist Doom impersonator. I think we all know who has to take the prize.
Winner: Monkey Joe for Marvel.

Today was clearly a DC win, with only the victory of Squirrel Girl’s Monkey Joe keeping this from being a complete landslide. Tune in at a later date when we compare:
Deathstroke/Deadpool
Green Arrow/Hawkeye
Lois Lane/MJ Watson
Wonder Twins/Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver