Happy isn't very happy

Is Dinah really THAT unselfaware? Like her leather leotard/fishnets ensemble wasn't ALREADY dressing like a hooker.

As a side note, later on Wonder Woman and Black Canary go to Japan for some reason and they both dress like strippers. Clearly, that's not a problem for Canary. Chuck Dixon wasn't thinking when he wrote this panel.

Geez Tony, even in the lighthearted Marvel Adventures universe you're a dickhead. Look how utterly depressed Happy looks. That's the last time he ever asks you for any advice.

I'm guessing that Damian is wearing Kevlar under his suit, but being shot five times at close range is NOT something from which you generally recover (unless you're 50 cent). No one seems very worried though, including Damian. Did they just forget when something VERY similar happened to Barbara Gordon? Perhaps they're just assuming that Talia will pop him into a Lazarus pit and he'll be fine, although that didn't really work out for Jason Todd.

But what happens if he has to wipe?

Luke Cage: Home of the best villains of all time. Don't believe me?

Senor Muerte! Spins a little thingie on his chest and then forces you to pick which hand to shake...choose poorly, and you get ELECTROCUTED. He's kind of like Two-Face mixed with Anton Chigurh with a huge helping of lame. But it's so lame it's also kind of awesome. It also occurs to me just now that he could definitely have been played in a movie by Billy Dee Williams back in the day. Probably even now.

Luke Cage: confident in his masculinity.

This may be the best cheesecake shot I've ever seen.

Sound Effect Mania

I've had a bunch of sound effect pictures saved for an epic post, and that time is TODAY, my friends!

Green Goblin is second only to T-Ray (and maybe Typhoid Mary) on my list of most hated villains, but he has some badass sound effects. BWOMF? Come on, that's awesome. If I ever write comic books, I would have so much fun making up the most random sound effects.

Plus I love puns.

Booster Gold/Donkey Kong crossover: SO WRONG, IT'S RIGHT.

I'm sorry, but I have NO IDEA what KRAKKA KRAKKA FOOM is supposed to sound like in real life. Maybe the FOOM part, but not the

KRAKKA KRAKKA.

Ditto for RRAKKOOOO. Half

the time I think the writers are just fucking with us with some of these sound effects.

PS: I like that Hal/Parallax says "Gnats" when something goes wrong.

Like RUMP? Come on, that's a noun, not a sound effect. Parenthetically, I have no idea what comic this is from. I should label my pictures better.

So that's the sound that grabbing a hidden recorder from a dbag in a weird looking wetsuit makes.

If you've ever wondered what it sounds like when your fake parents from another universe make a cake come into existence out of thin air...now you know.

On the other hand, this is a great representation of what it would sound like to get your heart removed by Zombie Ted.

Fred Van Lente is, hands down, the king of sound effects. Sproy bloom? It makes NO SENSE but it's AWESOME.

PS: This is my only exposure to Namora, and I LOVE HER despite the fact that she is for some reason in love with her cousin Namor, he of the Spock eyebrows and scaly Speedos.

Edit: Apparently Namor and Namora are NOT related by blood, making her crush less uncomfortable. I still ship Namora/Herc though.

Damien Wayne: second best Robin

Batman/Spider-Man crossover: so wrong, and yet SO RIGHT. I also enjoy Batman's parka. You'd think Lucius could invent a heated suit or something.

This outfit is...pretty outstanding. I'm not sure what my reaction would be if this dude broke into my house. I mean, he has a gun and an eyepatch, which are fairly intimidating. But on the other hand, he's wearing a belly shirt and bike shorts. There is no excuse for that.

Is Damien British? Somehow that just makes him more entertaining. I love and hate that kid at the same time.

Look at the shit eating grin on that C-lister. He knows the place is going to blow because of his gasoline blood, but he doesn't care, as long as he takes out three members of the Batfamily.

Damien is so different from Batman, but somehow it makes perfect sense that he would be the product of Batman and Talia. Neither are particularly nice people, so it makes sense that their kid is a demon. Mostly I just feel sorry for Dick. He has no real responsibility for Damien and yet in the aftermath of Bruce's death he inherits the little shit disturber.

Biopropellent

I just love Cass and Steph. There are a bunch of female superheroes that I love, but the two Batgirls are rare in that they don't have to dress like skanks. I've stated a few times that Cass's costume is my favourite and while I'm not a huge fan of the Spoiler costume (I like Steph's Batgirl costume a lo

t more) I do have to appreciate that Steph's not all boobs and legs in it (plus I think she's about 16 here so...that would be creepy). Cass is definitely one of the most formidable superheroes in the DCU (I'm pretty sure she defeated Shiva which is...not that easy) and even Batman respects her. Steph is less so but she tries hard and genuinely works to become better. Why did these girls not have their own series together? Come on, DC.

I have almost no memory of this storyline. I think it was from Superman/Batman but I'm not even

really sure of that. If it was, it's from the post-Jeph Loeb era where nothing makes sense anymore. I just appreciate the stuttering robot calling the other robot an asshole.

This is from Cable and Deadpool. I read this last year and then again really recently. I had NO memory of Shatterstar's one panel appearance. I love him and his three ponytails. My only exposure to X-Force is from whenever they show up in Deadpool and when Boom Boom/Meltdown/Tabby was on Nextwave. I don't know what it is, but every time I see them I just get the feeling that they're X-Men rejects who want desperately to be taken seriously but they can't. I mean come on: Shatterstar has three ponytails and wears boxing headgear, Cannonball(s) wears aviator goggles, and Siryn has some kind of weird cape thingie attached to her wrists. I don't even know what Cannonball's power is. He says he's a "biopropellent" and it appears that fire comes out of his ass and makes him fly. What a great power.

Scariest Baby of Life

So...is it my imagination, or was there a premature ejaculation joke in a comic

book aimed at preteens?

In the words of my brother: "Of COURSE Plas makes a costume joke!"

But seriously...Galactus=WORST OUTFIT EVER, y/y? I'm including Canary's John Byrne redesign in this contest. You know it's bad when PLASTIC MAN, who probably has one of the worst costumes of life, can make fun of you and no one bats an eye.

...let's just say there's a reason that Joe Quesada is not a full time artist.

Spider-Girl

It's been awhile, hasn't it? Let's look at some Spider-Girl today.

You have to be really goddamn serious about your villainy to get a giant spider tattooed on your stomach and the word "REVENGE" tattooed across your chest. It's kind of funny now that Normie is friends with May. I bet every time he takes off his shirt, he's like, "Shit. Why the eff did I decide to do that? FUCK YOU, DAD."

I love Mayday to death, but this panel pisses me off. BOO HOO MAYDAY, TWO GUYS ARE IN LOVE WITH YOU. YOUR LIFE SUCKS SO BAD.

"My uncle Ben died because I didn't act when I had the chance...also, am I hallucinating, or is there a giant ass goose over there?" What is this, Mark Trail?