There are so many crotch shots in comics

I love how this guy whose name I can't remember right now is trying to maintain dignity in the face of getting punched in the crotch by a woman in a purple mask. Gypsy's just in the back in the second panel there, enjoying the show.














R'as, you're such a pimp. No wonder Canary dated you for awhile.















Superman, Lex, John, and Wonder Woman all look perplexed and/or determined. Only Roy sees the inherent entertainment value in hunting down chibi versions of their villains.

Beat Panel Madness

This might be kind of a weird thing to say. But I LOVE beat panels. I think they're so hilarious every single time. They're like a foolproof comedy device. To whit:


















Batman glaring at Jaime while Jaime still has puke around his mouth and then Jaime being sheepish defines his whole persona (and every Batman teamup he has).















Hector: Who?
The fact that Mephistopheles (spoiler) turns out to be an old man who just wants to be left alone makes this, in hindsight, like 3x funnier.


















I just realized most of my beat panels are Blue Beetle. Oh Jaime, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET CANCELLED? And now you're with the Titans, and you're not fun.
Anyway, this is one of my favourite beat panels. Dr. Mid-Nite is such a B-lister and he finally gets his chance to mentor a young hero (just like Batman!) and...it blows up in his face.
















This is my favourite. Hal/Parallax is all in evil mode, talking about how he wants everyone to feel fear and then he looks up...and four Beetles and Booster Gold are watching him from inside a little bubble. Dan puts it best: "We're five grown men dressed in bright colours inside a clear plastic bubble set against a rainbow background, Jaime. They saw us." The two beat panels just make it better.














Jaime has just finished explaining a nefarious plan by the Reach, involving manufacturing the memories of this fellow here, whose name I can't recall. I love Danni's reaction, especially when juxtaposed with the tragic hero pose of the red guy.

Little Known Fact: Mr. Sinister Played Jafar

Batman? That's not how the line goes. I don't think Charlton Heston will sue you if you use the actual quote.

















This was at the very end of an episode of Wolverine and the X-men and I can honestly tell you that I have no idea what is going on. The guy on the left kind of looks like Mr. Sinister, except he obviously isn't. He's like Jafar or something. And the guy on the right is supposed to be Cyclops (I guess) except he looks like Cyclops as played by Elrond as played by Hugo Weaving. I don't think there was any explanation for this sudden mashup unless I wasn't paying attention.
















I found this panel really entertaining. I thought that Scott had gone into a trance and started reciting poetry while Oberon and this other random dude chained him up, but I don't think he's in a trance. Ohhhh Scott. I love you a lot.

Slashy Fun

I've seen this panel a few times, and each time I, like everyone else, thought that for some reason Tony's arm was around Cap's waist. And my response was somewhere between "Really? Really?" and "Oh comics, don't ever change." But I'm now pretty sure that Cap's hand is on his hip and the juxtaposition of Tony and the hand is just very unfortunate. Even without the hand though, look how CLOSE Tony and Cap are. Tony's pressed right up against him. Even without the hand, this is still pretty slashy. I kind of like the respective expressions on their faces. Tony's all like "GRRRRRRARGH" and Cap's just kind of chillin'.

















The first comics I ever read were Marvel, and then I went on a Marvel kick for awhile. Recently I started reading DC, and now I think I know more about DC characters than Marvel. Which is why when I saw these two Young Avengers (Iron Lad and Patriot) my first thoughts were "Atom! And Deathstroke!" Then I remembered that I was reading Marvel and I was sad that Deathstroke couldn't be in it, and then I realized that these two didn't look anything like Atom or Deathstroke.

This is a thing about me, but sometimes I just get obsessive about a certain character, even if I hadn't read anything about them. Nick Fury is one (I've only seen him in Cable/Deadpool, and that was very brief) and Slade is another one. I get excited when he shows up.

Well, that's enough Young Avengers.













Context? CONTEXT IS FOR LOSERS!

I...I do not wish to see these things

OF COURSE Batman has the blueprints for Alcatraz at his fingertips. DUH.
















Superman and Batman are in the bodies of Peej and Huntress. Superman/Peej just looks kind of confused and determined to figure out what's going on. Batman, meanwhile, looks PISSED and really really disgruntled that he's in the body of Helena. I can't remember who drew this but they perfectly captured what Batman would look like were he in the body of Huntress. You know what I mean? You can just TELL that's Batman in someone else's body.















Oh, how I love every single one of the characters in this panel. Canary is just kind of "oh, here we go" about the fact that Zinda has a crush on a gay man. She assumes Savant knows that Creote's gay for him, but I guess not if his look of obliviousness is any indication. Zinda is also oblivious to anything but her crush on Creote. Creote is overwhelmed and doesn't know how to handle a woman. Ahhhh, I love it.


















Ed McGuinness is one of my favourite artists (and one of these days I'm making a top ten list) but even this is a little too much cheesecake for my tastes. Superman's arms are HUUUUUGE. I like Alfred's dubious look though.

Urgh LOOK AT ME CLENCH

Rob, Rob, Rob...why?

Look at how HARD Conner is flexing! He's clenching every single muscle in his body to it's maximum extent. His neck in particular creeps me out A LOT. It's just all sinew and UGH. And he's sporting the signature Liefeld teeth clench. You might remember that from when he drew Captain America in Deadpool and I featured it. This is an issue with lots of different artists and I knew Liefeld was one of them and I thought one page might be Liefeld's and then I saw this and was like, "nope, this is definitely Liefeld." It makes me sad that there are only three artists I can recognize immediately: Udon, Jim Lee, and Rob Liefeld.

Here's the rest of the page:
















Batman's mouth is contorted weirdly. Speaking of contortion, HOLY CRAP FINGERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. There is no way Tim's fingers can fan out like that. I just tried, it's impossible. And he's not the circus performer, why are his legs doing that? I would expect that from Dick (he's a showoff) but not from Tim.

Also, what do you mean where's the rest of Wonder Woman? I thought that's all we need to see.

Now because you probably need it...
















BASK IN GUY GARDNER'S AWESOMENESS.

And in Rafael Albuquerque's art. He's one of my favourites.

Romance Is In The Air...

(Paraphrased) Huntress: We've all thought it, but we didn't act on it!

Canary kisses Batman because he saved the BoP girls, can't remember what from. I love how discombobulated Batman is. He can face dapper dudes on ostriches and crazy clowns and guys with freeze guns and a dude with a bisected face, but the only thing that can honestly surprise him is Canary laying one on him.

























Guy is absolutely my favourite Green Lantern, and this is based solely on these panels, his appearances in Blue Beetle, and some other miscellaneous Scans Daily posts. And this is pretty much the most romantic thing I have ever seen in my life, especially since it's GUY. First of all, the first panel is an obvious homage to the famous picture of the soldier kissing a woman after the war ends (not the first time DC has done this...if I recall, Zinda kisses a dude like that in Birds of Prey). And the rest is just so Guy. "It's me...you know, love of your life, love god, lizard king." Don't know what "lizard king" is supposed to mean, but this whole thing is just so GUY. It's romance, Gardner style. AND I LOVE IT.

And my favourite ever kiss in comics, EVER:
















They're all fighting aliens when Brenda gets hit and Paco thinks she's dead. Traci comes by and is all "AWAKE" and then she disappears and Brenda wakes up and is all business, trying to get Milagro away. Paco, ignoring the carnage and destruction around them, is focused on Brenda. Because he thought she died and he realized how much he liked her. And then he kisses her. Paco just looks so...manly. I didn't have a crush on Paco before BUT I SURE DO NOW.

Best part: Milagro's disgruntled look. She's all, "Hello, remember me? Milagro? My mom told you to get me out of here? You can mack on each other later." And then Guy Gardner shows up and is awesome and Milagro is awesome and everything's AWESOME. Honestly, it is the best story arc I have EVER read.

Batman Hits Women

Superman and Supergirl are so happy and excited about life! But that's not why I posted the picture. I just love how emo Batman looks all bowed head and cowled face. His being friends with Superman is just such a random event, I honestly have no idea why they hang out.
















This is from an alternate future where Batman and Superman are both wealthy playboys and were raised as brothers. Wonder Woman is trying to defeat them (with the help of Uncle Sam. Yes, the real Uncle Sam. And he has a Green Lantern ring). She has a new costume with lots of black flaps and sparklies. I kinda like it. She's pretty badass here, all "DIE, OPPRESSOR!"














But it doesn't last long, because Batman lays her out with a solid punch to the face. This image is...depressing, honestly.

But...I don't want to go into his pants...

In this panel, Superman is talking about awesome Lois has been through the appearance of his cousin from Krypton, even buying her clothes without meeting her.

Maybe you should have let Lana pick out the clothes.















You can't really ask anyone to describe Nextwave. It's beyond description. In his pitch, Warren Ellis said "Nextwave is not about character arcs and learning and morals and hugs. It is about cramming an insane movie into 44 pages at a time...it is most especially about things blowing up and people getting kicked."

It is also about a giant green lizard monster named Fin Fang Foom who wants to put you into his purple underpants.















I have no idea who this pimp is, but I think I kind of love him. If I recall, we never really find out. Either that or I was just too hypnotized by his outfit to pay attention to who he actually is. I love how both Jaime and the person he is beating up (?) are just so discombobulated by this guy. What's his power? THE POWER OF PIMP MAGIC?