Urgh LOOK AT ME CLENCH

Rob, Rob, Rob...why?

Look at how HARD Conner is flexing! He's clenching every single muscle in his body to it's maximum extent. His neck in particular creeps me out A LOT. It's just all sinew and UGH. And he's sporting the signature Liefeld teeth clench. You might remember that from when he drew Captain America in Deadpool and I featured it. This is an issue with lots of different artists and I knew Liefeld was one of them and I thought one page might be Liefeld's and then I saw this and was like, "nope, this is definitely Liefeld." It makes me sad that there are only three artists I can recognize immediately: Udon, Jim Lee, and Rob Liefeld.

Here's the rest of the page:
















Batman's mouth is contorted weirdly. Speaking of contortion, HOLY CRAP FINGERS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY. There is no way Tim's fingers can fan out like that. I just tried, it's impossible. And he's not the circus performer, why are his legs doing that? I would expect that from Dick (he's a showoff) but not from Tim.

Also, what do you mean where's the rest of Wonder Woman? I thought that's all we need to see.

Now because you probably need it...
















BASK IN GUY GARDNER'S AWESOMENESS.

And in Rafael Albuquerque's art. He's one of my favourites.

Romance Is In The Air...

(Paraphrased) Huntress: We've all thought it, but we didn't act on it!

Canary kisses Batman because he saved the BoP girls, can't remember what from. I love how discombobulated Batman is. He can face dapper dudes on ostriches and crazy clowns and guys with freeze guns and a dude with a bisected face, but the only thing that can honestly surprise him is Canary laying one on him.

























Guy is absolutely my favourite Green Lantern, and this is based solely on these panels, his appearances in Blue Beetle, and some other miscellaneous Scans Daily posts. And this is pretty much the most romantic thing I have ever seen in my life, especially since it's GUY. First of all, the first panel is an obvious homage to the famous picture of the soldier kissing a woman after the war ends (not the first time DC has done this...if I recall, Zinda kisses a dude like that in Birds of Prey). And the rest is just so Guy. "It's me...you know, love of your life, love god, lizard king." Don't know what "lizard king" is supposed to mean, but this whole thing is just so GUY. It's romance, Gardner style. AND I LOVE IT.

And my favourite ever kiss in comics, EVER:
















They're all fighting aliens when Brenda gets hit and Paco thinks she's dead. Traci comes by and is all "AWAKE" and then she disappears and Brenda wakes up and is all business, trying to get Milagro away. Paco, ignoring the carnage and destruction around them, is focused on Brenda. Because he thought she died and he realized how much he liked her. And then he kisses her. Paco just looks so...manly. I didn't have a crush on Paco before BUT I SURE DO NOW.

Best part: Milagro's disgruntled look. She's all, "Hello, remember me? Milagro? My mom told you to get me out of here? You can mack on each other later." And then Guy Gardner shows up and is awesome and Milagro is awesome and everything's AWESOME. Honestly, it is the best story arc I have EVER read.

Batman Hits Women

Superman and Supergirl are so happy and excited about life! But that's not why I posted the picture. I just love how emo Batman looks all bowed head and cowled face. His being friends with Superman is just such a random event, I honestly have no idea why they hang out.
















This is from an alternate future where Batman and Superman are both wealthy playboys and were raised as brothers. Wonder Woman is trying to defeat them (with the help of Uncle Sam. Yes, the real Uncle Sam. And he has a Green Lantern ring). She has a new costume with lots of black flaps and sparklies. I kinda like it. She's pretty badass here, all "DIE, OPPRESSOR!"














But it doesn't last long, because Batman lays her out with a solid punch to the face. This image is...depressing, honestly.

But...I don't want to go into his pants...

In this panel, Superman is talking about awesome Lois has been through the appearance of his cousin from Krypton, even buying her clothes without meeting her.

Maybe you should have let Lana pick out the clothes.















You can't really ask anyone to describe Nextwave. It's beyond description. In his pitch, Warren Ellis said "Nextwave is not about character arcs and learning and morals and hugs. It is about cramming an insane movie into 44 pages at a time...it is most especially about things blowing up and people getting kicked."

It is also about a giant green lizard monster named Fin Fang Foom who wants to put you into his purple underpants.















I have no idea who this pimp is, but I think I kind of love him. If I recall, we never really find out. Either that or I was just too hypnotized by his outfit to pay attention to who he actually is. I love how both Jaime and the person he is beating up (?) are just so discombobulated by this guy. What's his power? THE POWER OF PIMP MAGIC?

Sleeper Agent Penguins

I read an article comparing Cable and Deadpool that said that Deadpool is a comical character who is at his best when he is being serious, and Cable is a serious character who is at his best when he's being funny. I was initially going to compare Batman to Cable but then realized that Batman is almost never funny. He is, however, at his best when he is helping others. When he helped Booster of his loss (again) of Ted, it was one of the highlights of Booster's series. And here, he has accused Huntress of betraying her friends but Oracle and Canary refuse to believe it. Huntress proves to Batman that she was helping them all along, and you can tell Bruce really really hates eating crow, but he knows that it will make Helena feel good to be complimented, and obliges her. He may look and act scary and intimidating, but deep down he's a good guy. Another heartwarming Batman moment:
















He may sometimes treat them like crap, but he deeply cares about the Bat Family. Batman is almost always stoic, but it's in these little moments where he shines.

And on to lighter topics:















From Blue Beetle, I present the MANCHURIAN PENGUINS! Penguins as sleeper agents=one of the best ideas in comics in recent years, ever.
















Lex is now president of the United States. A piece of Krypton is hurtling towards earth and he orders Superman and Batman to be kidnapped because he's blaming the meteor on them. He sends word that he's captured them, and Nightwing, Robin, Superboy, Huntress, and two other girls I don't know go to capture them.

Anyway, Nightwing, Robin, and Huntress sneak into a room and [I can't remember from the comic, but from this panel it looks like] Lex falls down from the ceiling (with the hilarious sound effect KRAKA-THOOM) to confront them and ask where Superman and Batman are.

I thought Lex was supposed to be the smart one. Obviously everyone thinks Superman and Batman are at the White House, or they wouldn't have come to rescue them. Great plan, Lex. You should just go back to stealing forty cakes.

That's as many as four tens.

And that's terrible.

I'm the Goddamn Batman

I'm always unsure whether or not to recommend All-Star Batman. It's really, really bad, but it's also kind of hilarious. So I'm like, "Read it! It sucks a lot! " and then people get confused.
























Anyway, here's the original image. Now, I'm not a Batman expert or anything, but I don't think Batman would ever say "retarded."

What I enjoy about this meme is that various writers have incorporated it and made fun of it, much like how everyone makes fun of Rob Liefeld now (which will come later). Like Gail Simone in Birds of Prey:

















My favourite instance of this meme is in an issue of Superman/Batman. Chibi versions of the Justice League are let loose in our world, and the little Batman is just as angsty as his big counterpart.















But poor chibi!Batman doesn't get to even finish the sentence. Big Batman is thinking, "Goddammit, it was ONE TIME, and no one ever lets me forget it!"

Another example of writers being aware of their audience is when they make fun of Rob Liefeld, which is pretty much all the time.














From Fabian Nicieza's Cable/Deadpool, this isn't strictly an example, but everyone knows that Rob Liefeld loves his pouches. He can't not have been thinking about Liefeld when he wrote this.














From (I believe) Jimmy Palmiotti's run on Deadpool, we have the two old ladies who offer Deadpool the use of a very big and complicated gun called the Liefelder.

And most blatantly of all:














On Daniel Way's run on Deadpool, he actually turns and addresses Rob Liefeld, making fun of his obsession with pouches.

I HAVE NO EYES AND I MUST SCREAM

Or you know, really weird eyes.















Where are their pupils? WHERE ARE THEIR PUPILS?
















That guy on the right valiantly defending Tony's honour is freaking me right out. His eyes are two different sizes.















Meanwhile, Tony is so angry he's having a stroke, as evidenced by the fact that one of his irises is way, way bigger than the other.

And just because I can:















ACK, DON'T LOOK AT ME, MOJO