Sasquatch is Canadian

You're making a Canadian superhero team, and you want one of the members to resemble something that is immediately recognizable as Canadian. Is it a beaver? Is it Ogopogo? Is it poutine? Nope, it's Sasquatch of course! I'm simultaneously amused and horrified by his chiselled abs and nipples. I love his hilariously mundane first name but I'm most amused by the fact that his last name is Langkowski, an Eastern European name. I'm actually quite surprised at how realistically Canadian Sasquatch actually is. I grew up in a small town where probably 90% of the inhabitants had recognizably Eastern European names, including me.

Also amusing: his expository thought bubbles.

Whenever I look at this picture all I can think of is Deadpool in The Hulk vs. Wolverine going, "STRIKE A POSE!"

















When I first read this, I thought Huntress was saying "you have no contraception." I tried to imagine what situation would prompt her to say that. She's canonically kind of a whore, so maybe she hit on Savant and then was unspeakably angry when he didn't have a prophylactic. Or maybe she was so angry because he NEVER had any contraception and she didn't want to face the possibility of Savant passing on his psycho genes to any offspring.

And, shaking things up a bit, I present a screen shot from Wolverine and the X-Men:


















I won't lie to you: I'm a little in love with Mojo. He's hideous, but how can you hate him when he looks so gleefully evil?

Skeets= Joining the ranks of the best secondary comics characters ever?

Where a lot of comics shine, I think, is their secondary characters. Even more so than other types of media, secondary characters in comics are exceptionally well-done. Like Bob from Cable/Deadpool, Al and Weasel from Deadpool, Lady Blackhawk and Catwoman from Birds of Prey, and now, Skeets from Booster Gold. He's a robot Booster stole from the future and he kind of reminds me of Mr. Butlertron from Clone High in his grasp of humour.
















Here Skeets is fighting his evil counterpart. Usually Skeets is seen as sweet and somewhat childlike, but here, he's all, "Come get some."















Skeets is losing the battle until he hovers over the robot and drops some kind of brown sludge on him and then says this.


















This as the bonus of being pretty heartwarming because Booster is getting his sister back (ALSO, I just noticed his FUCKED UP EYEBALL, which is FREAKING ME OUT) but apparently Skeets also changed his look and was just waiting for someone to notice.

















Awww! Skeets is so sweet! Also it's really weirding me out to see Booster without his goggles.

















Did Skeets drop into a shop and buy a beret? Did he have one in the event that they all went back to the 19th century to have lunch in front of the Eiffel Tower? Who knows? It's adorable!














Skeets is kind of vindictive. BUT I LOVE IT.














But Skeets doesn't get all the robot awesomeness. "I shall brag to all my robot friends!"

Narcolepsy is a very real problem

Dear Lord in Heaven, that is one Bruce Campbell worthy chin. BATMAN=ASH WILLIAMS? DISCUSS.















The stress of being a police officer in Gotham is too much for Gordon, who has succumbed to severe narcolepsy.















This guy's neck has reached oak tree proportions. I'm just kind of freaked out by him. I honestly can't look at him anymore. He'll haunt my nightmares.

CROTCH SHOT!

If you're a male, proceed with caution.


















This whole Birds of Prey story involved Huntress and Canary going after this guy who dated them and then ditched them, and Catwoman was along for the ride because he owed her money. It's basically about girls going after a dickhead. This guy can read minds, which meant that he was beating the shit out of Huntress. Until she made her mind blank and then blindsided him WITH THE CROTCH SHOT. It could have happened no other way.















Deadpool once saved the entire world by kicking Captain America in the nuts. True story.















What everyone seems to forget when trying to subdue Oracle is that being in a wheelchair puts her at the perfect height to do this to potential attackers.















Ouch. This guy's never having children.

More Canary Homoeroticism!

Okay, let's talk about what they're SUPPOSED to be doing here. I'm pretty sure they're supposed to be fighting. But as to what it actually LOOKS like, I'm not too sure. Slam dancing? Random attack of narcolepsy? Interpretive dance?















I can't remember this woman's name, but she looks a little too happy to be that near to Canary.

















Yeah, okay Canary, you're just comforting Babs after her seizure...wait, why are you staring at her lips?

Everyone's Favourite Topic: INCEST

I'm like 90% sure that these two are mother and daughter. Has anyone done that with their mom? No? Just checking.















I'm not crazy, right? It totally looks like R'as is going in for a kiss, right?














When you're writing a show for kids featuring a pair of twins well known for incest subtext (and text. THANK YOU, ULTIMATE MARVEL) and you presumably want to AVOID said subtext, it's probably not the best idea to make the twins do this.

And because you're not uncomfortable enough YET:





























The Juggernaut has retired for doing crime and has started his own little S&M shop. What were you thinking, Ultimate Marvel? Because incest is obviously not squicky enough.

Your Daily Dose of WTFery.

What in the hell is happening. Panel 1, we have Canary looking SOUL CRUSHINGLY DEPRESSED when presumably she is excited about feeding the birds. Panel 2, the normal skank-adjacent Helena is wearing a hat last seen on the Queen Mother. Panel 3, Babs has spontaneously gained about ten pounds. Panel 4, Canary is holding a pose that no human has ever held before. If you were pointing to your hot dog, is that the way you would do it? I just...I need to escape from this acid trip.

















This isn't out of the ordinary in and of itself, but you would not believe how long I stared at those shoes. I thought Babs was wearing some kind of two-tone shoes that were pink on top and black on the bottom and they were HUGE for some reason, and then THAT led me to wonder where in the hell Nightwing's feet went. Then when I figured out that his feet were the black ones, I had to figure out what he was doing with his feet to make them look like that. More time than I like to admit was spent trying to figure out this picture.














Meanwhile, Barbara has lost any pigment in her eyes and is contemplating on how to take over the world. Her boobs have also grown to Betty proportions. Better watch out Babs: I hear those things will smother you in your sleep.